Tardiness

Wikipedia image

I've recently seen a rash of posts on the good old facebook about tardiness.  (yes, about a giraffe too, but let's move on...)

Do you think that world is becoming more and more tardy?  Is lateness an epidemic that we're try to stem the flow on?

Greg Savage thinks so.  That it's not only become an epidemic, and it's also rude, inconsiderate and a time waster for everyone. All of these things are true.  However, it seems like Mr. Savage doesn't really think about the world we live in, and why we may all be late in the first place:

"And it is not that we lead 'busy lives'. That's a given, we all do, and it's a cop out to use that as an excuse. It's simply that some people no longer even pretend that they think your time is as important as theirs. And technology makes it worse. It seems texting or emailing that you are late somehow means you are no longer late"

 Yes, I agree that texting and e-mailing that you are late is not an excuse, you are still late, still rude and just as annoying.  And yes, technology somehow makes us think that we've been excused because we 'told you.'  However, I think we need to get back to the heart of the matter.  Why are we all running late in the first place.

I know that I put to much into each day.  That I never take into account traffic, or tantrums, or any of the other little things that can throw an otherwise normal day off kilter.  Once you've had children, your time is not your own.  Then we get into the discussion about leaving enough time to allow your child to try to do things themselves.  Which you know you want to allow them to do, but rarely have the time.

I think it's critically important to teach your children about respect, which includes other people's time.  However, I also think it's important as a mom to remember to take time, slow down, and let your life unfold a bit.  Nothing can be more sad than rushing a child to the car, only to have them try to smell the roses and get yelled at for 'dawdling'.

We want to encourage our kids to explore their world, and to do so we need to allow them the time they need.  So, here's my commitment. I'm writing it down, and I encourage all of you to do the same.

I commit to planning a bit less.  To allowing EG the freedom to explore her world.  One day at a time.

Differing Parental Philosophies

I've been reading a lot of parenting books (see, here's the proof!).  As I read each of them, I'm again struck by two things:

1. That each culture does have a similar expectation for their children, and that it can be seen, studied and reviewed.
2. That each parent/child relationship is unique, and what works for one person/group may not work for the others.

No where is this more apparent than in the chore/expectation sector of the world.  Who does what?  How do we breakdown the items that no one gets paid for, the laundry, the dishes, the chores.  The drudgery that keeps a house running forward.

While we've already discussed chores some on this blog, I thought that this article was worth reading.  It's interesting to see just how much chores and helping out are predicated on a national level.  That the expectations of one culture is very different than another.

I'm finishing up 'Blessing of a Skinned Knee,' which focuses it's ideas on a Jewish perspective.  Hopefully it will have something nice to add to the conversation.

As EG is nearing in on 2 years old, I'm amazed at the things she's learned.  She knows where the trash can is, and she is capable of doing so much more than I think we ask of her.  It's hard though, to facilitate her being able to do things herself.

One step at a time, right?

When is temperament established

Here on the blog I lovingly call my daughter Exuberant Girl.  I feel like she's been this way since she was very little, with her eyes wide open even in the first moments after birth.

But now I wonder if I've given her a temperament without letting her 'grow into her own'?

Our little girl has always been open to new things.  At her one month appointment she was arms up in cobra pose already, craning her neck to see what was going on in the world.  Recently, as in yesterday, she tried to climb the chainlink fence at the park- yup all  before 16 months old.

She's not afraid of virtually anything.  We went camping and she chased after the deer.  When she falls down she might cry, but then less than 60seconds later she's charging up and ready to go out and do it again.

The teachers at school tell me how social she is.  She like to run to the other kids, and whenever we go to the park she's constantly playing with the other children (even if she's 12momths and they are 8 years!)

Are these traits set in stone?  Is it true that she's really exuberant?  How was your child when they were born? 

7 Tips for Wine Tasting with a Toddler

The weekend of my birthday (I'm still in in 20's I swear!) we went wine tasting as a family.  Yup, my family, my sister's family and our parents all together on one crazy weekend adventure.

While we all had ups and downs (let me tell you!) I wanted to share our experience with Wine tasting with a toddler...

1. Don't go in for the fancy nighttime meal.  There's nothing worse than spending almost $100 on the really fancy meal then not going to the really fancy meal.  Regardless of the best of intentions I can almost guarantee that after travel, the excitment of a new place, and despite the best laid plans that all hell will break loose and the night you are supposed to go to the fancy dinner you will not.  It's not inclusive, it's probably not a great meal anyways, and even if you did make it out of the house you might be worried rather than happy. 


2. Leave to go wine tasting at nap-time.  Especially if you still have a morning nap.  Wineries are often far from each other, so this way you can drive the longest distance, let the little one sleep in the car, then have the rest of the afternoon before nap #2 to head back to base camp.  If you only have one nap, I suggest starting close by, heading out far right as naptime starts, then working your way back to base camp.  


3. Have a designated parent.  This could be the designated driver.  Or it could be a different parent throughout the day.  But it's really key to have one person both designated as the 'more sober one' and the 'officially watching' one.  Wineries are busy places, and they serve a lot more wine to you than you might realize.  Even if neither of you are the DD, one of you needs to stay in control in case there is a toddler emergency.  Additionally, between the patio, the grass and the place where you get the tasting, it's helpful to know constantly who's officially on watch.   


4. Visit wineries with grassy areas or patios. We went to J.Lohr, and a few other larger wineries.  As long as they had an outdoor patio- we were golden.  The problem comes in when you try to bring the kids indoors.  Where there are people waiting in line for the wine, and chochskies for them to break.  So, keep it outdoors and you are golden.


5. Do bring LOTS of food, and stop for lunch. I'm sure you know about this advice for yourself, when drinking eat a lot.  However, it's even more important with the kiddos.  Lots of wineries have cheese to try with the wine, and on a nice weekend with a designated driver this might seem fine.  For your kids, it's a different story.  They need a meal, something related to what they normally eat, and the stability of sitting down to do it.


6. Give them a sip if you want to.  I have absolutely no judgement here.  When we do Shabbat EG gets a sip of wine, so when we were out I gave her one or two moments.  Just be careful, since there are judgy people, and no one wants to be going to the hospital because of a broken glass (winery glassware is notoriously cheap).


7. Rent a house/cabin if you can.  If there are cabin or house options where you are, go for it!  Rather than a hotel, which is only one room, having the extra space a cabin or house provides can be wonderful for the kids.  While you are napping off the morning drinking the kids can be running through the house, working through some of that energy

Moral of the story, just do it!  It's fun, and awesome, and a chance to enjoy being an adult while still being a parent.

Leaving the baby behind

Have you left your child while you went out of town?  We are contemplating leaving EG for about 5 days while we go to a wedding in Miami.

I can't decide what's the right thing to do.  We've traveled with EG before and I didn't really find it to stressful.  To be honest, the most stressful part was being with my own parents...

However, this is for a wedding.  And before we get to the wedding we have some appointments that she can't attend.  She is, however, invited to the wedding.

Have you left your child for a few days?  I'm so worried that she might not know me, or love me as much when I return.  I'm sure that's silly, but there it is.  That somehow while I'm gone she will be forgetting me.  Such a silly thought.

The plan would be to take her to school like normal, then have her picked up by Grandpa.  She would spend two nights with my in-laws, then two nights with my parents before being brought back home to sleep in her own bed.

I realize it's a lot of people for her to deal with/get used to.  But at the same time, I don't know that either set of grandparents is really ready to take that much responsibility and take care of her 24-hours for 5 days.  That's a lot of time and effort.

I do think it might be easier on her, overall, if we leave her behind.  It's not just about the travel, etc, but it's the time change, the driving, all the additional details that would go into this trip.  Not to mention the enjoyment that Working Dad and I might not have if she's with us.  Though I love her dearly, I know that we will enjoy the wedding more if we are there without her.

Thoughts? Comments? 

EG: Happy Halloween!

I got a sweet Mom!

A fun lady lion
out on the prowl
I got lots of candy
And put it in my mouth
lollipops and chocolate, turned out really nice!

Happy Halloween EG!

Pick a Parasha: Toldot

For our next installment of Pick a Parasha we will be doing: Toldot

Parashat Toldot / פרשת תולדות

I look forward to sharing more D'var Torah with you all.  With luck we will get through the whole Torah together, someday.

As a reminder, we'll explore the D'var Torah on November 25, the last Monday of the month.  Can't wait to see you all then :-)