Mishloach Manot- The Toddler Edition with the Mishloach Manot Wars

Yesterday we talked about the Mitzvot of Purim, but I want to delve deeper into what you can do to keep your toddler involved in the Mishloach Manot.

I was reading through my daily edition of Tablet magazine, and what should be on the forefront of my pages- the Mishloach Manot Wars.  I can't even believe that someone wrote that.

Because I don't have enough to worry about, that I need to think about outdoing someone with my basket of nice treats.  Because giving the treat isn't enough, it has to be better than yours?

Maybe I'm just not the in the right circles, but the idea of anxiety related to making these baskets and gift bags seems a bit ridiculous to me.  Then again, I think about all the time I can spent on Pinterest, looking at the cute and adorable things that other people make.

There are four mitzvot of Purim, and I think that this one is probably the least of all the four.  Hearing the megillah is certainly of more importance.  So is giving charity to the poor.  

So, when I think about doing these baskets, I think about ways that I can have my children participate.  It might be a little more difficult for Ocho, but EG, she can help in so many ways.   Now, they might not turn out like Martha Stewart.  But they will be fun for us to make, and, I hope, enjoyable for our friends and neighbors to take part in.  So here's to having the family participate, and to lessening any crazy expectations we have on ourselves.  

When I think about putting together my gifts, the first thing that I think about is allowing EG to decorate the bags for me.  Some crayon, pencils, maybe even a handprint.  Want to make them even nicer after the kiddos handiwork?  Print this lovely Shalom onto them courtesy of Chai and Home.

Next I think it's a great opportunity to help your kids count.  I usually try to put in two Hamentaschen per person in the family.  This might seem like a lot (here's looking at you sister-in-law) but no one wants to be the person who only gets one cookie.  In addition to cookies I like to put in something more healthy.   

There is a tradition to put in wine or grape juice, since wine is so important to Jewish joy. However, with most of my gifts going to those with kiddos, I prefer to send raisins.  I usually throw in a few cuties, and a few apples too, so everyone can get something.  Have them count out how many cookies, cuties and apples into each bag- learning and doing!

It's traditional, and some opinions hold part of the mitzvah, to have the packages delivered by someone else.  This is a great way for your toddler to participate.  Since they have to be delivered during the day it's a great opportunity for your child to practice front door etiquette- ringing the bell or knocking on the door, giving something away, and saying goodbye.  Also a nice opportunity to loosen the reins a bit and let them walk to the neighbors house alone (observed by you from the front door)

How do you involve the kiddos in the mitzvot?  Or are you stressing about theming your baskets appropriately?  Don't even get me started on whether it's okay for me to give away cookies my toddler helps me bake...

Mitzvot of Purim

FOr each and every holiday there are two categories of things that happen.  Those that are tradition, and those that are commandments.  When we think about Purim we usually think of hearing the book of Esther read, dressing up in costume, and going to a carnival.  However, there are four mitzvot of Purim, and none of them involve dressing up.

1. READ the megillah.  Technically speaking everyone is supposed to read the megillah.  Both men and women are obligated.  Typically we 'read' the megillah by hearing it read by someone else.  This works, so long as the person reading it to you is obligated to fulfill the commandment themselves.  In our house, technically speaking, Mommy needs to read the story, not Daddy.  You also need to hear every word.  It's not a long story, but no pee breaks are allowed.  This also means that though the event is typically filled with cheers and jeers, you still need to hear...

2. The Festive Meal.  This is typically where the carnvial comes from.  We are commanded to have a festive meal, a Seudat Purim.   We are supposed to be joyous, wear festive clothing and have a celebration.  Many people also say the costumes represent the fact that Esther hid her true self (her Jewish identity) from the King.

3. Sending Food to Friends.  Technically this is called Mishloach Manot (and I've got LOTS of easy tips for making yours memorable tomorrow), and is supposed to be sent to friends and neighbors.  It  must consist of at least two 'portions' or things that the reciever doesn't have to prepare and can eat immediately, so no adorable jars full of DIY brownie mix.  It must be food or drink, no clothing or books allowed.  This is where Hamentaschen come into play.

4. Giving to the Poor.  This is something we should do all the time, but there is a specific obligation to give on Purim.  It says that we should extend ourselves a bit, give at least two gifts to at least two people (aka one to each).  We don't really talk about this one all that much, and I certainly can't remember it being a part of my childhood Purim experiences.  I can't quite figure out how to help EG do this one.  She does like to give to charity- so I let her donate any of the money she finds on the ground.  She collects it, and into the Tzedakah box it goes.

Will you be partaking of the Mitzvot of Purim?  Did you know that Purim had these different mitzvot?

Purim Parties of the South Bay

Lots of Purim Parties coming up next week and weekend.  Here's what I have for you to consider:

Temple Menorah- Dr. Seuss Party
Wednesday March 4, 2015
6:30pm Megillah reading
$20/family for dinner

Sunday, March 8, 2015
Purim Carnival
11:30-3pm

JCC- Beach Cities- Brooklyn Party
Wednesday, March 4 2015
5pm for Dinner & Megillah reading
$20/person for dinner
$10/child kids ages 3-11 (prepay)

Congregation Ner Tamid- Back to the Future
Wednesday, March 4, 2015
6pm Dinner and movie screening
$5/person for dinner

Temple Akiba- Traditional
Sunday. March 1, 2015
Traditional Purim Carnival
Tickets needed for game booths.

Congregation Tikvat Jacob
Wednesday, March 4, 2015
6:30pm for dinner & Megillah reading
Dinner included.  Costume contest for Kids and adults

Temple Shalom of the South Bay
Sunday, March 1, 2015
Community Purim Party

An Easy Purim Craft

Sometimes I don't have time to do something crazy creative for the holidays. Especially for Purim, when it feels like I honestly have just finally put away everything from Halloween and Chanukah just yesterday. (No, seriously, I found another dreidel inside the couch!).

So here is something that almost every Mom (or Dad, or Grandparent!) can put together in about 5 minutes to engage the kiddos in the Purim Story.  It requires so little, I'm almost willing to bet you $5 that you have these items at your house- or something similar that would work really well.

Supplies:
1 piece of card stock like paper
1 straw or handle (Popsicle stick? plastic knife?)
1 pen
1 pair of scissors
Crayons or markers for coloring

To Do:

1. Draw a simple sketch of a Queen Vashti, Queen Esther, Mordechai or Haman.  EG chose Queen Esther.

1. Cut out the drawing, around the basic face.
2. Let the kiddos color to their hearts content (EG colored both sides)

1. Cut out the eyes
2. Attach the handle
3. Play!

Not into making your own drawing?  Print out this printable crown from Chai and Home- what cute little Hamentaschen!

Telling (or Not) the story of Purim

Old & New by Lindsey McCormack

I've been trying to tell EG the story of Purim now for a few days.  She's got the basics (you should hear her say Mordechai, so proud!) but it's the nuances I'm having a hard time telling.  The Purim story isn't all giggles and happiness.  In fact, it's one of those iffy stories that I'm almost to worried to tell her.  If this were a Disney movie, you can bet I wouldn't be taking her to see it.  Let's review:

The Killings:

1. The first thing that happens in the story is drunken debauchery.  The second thing is the killing of the queen.  Who did nothing except decide that she wouldn't parade around naked in front of strangers because her husband told her to.  I totally want EG to be Vashti, except that death thing.  How do you explain that death thing?
2. Murder plots to kill the King.  I'm not saying I'm a fan of King Ahasuerus, but murdering the man in power.  Not exactly a message I want EG to get in her mind.  Mutiny in the household anyone? Then a few lines later we hang these people from a tree.  Okay, they were bad guys, but it's a lot of killing.
3. We hang Haman from the gallows that are intended for the Mordechai.  Okay, that might be fine, he's the bad guy here.  But what about the looting, pillaging and death the Jews exact upon the rest of the city.  Sure, the King says he couldn't reverse his decree, so we had to fight back.  That might seem fine, except we did more than protect ourselves.  According to the story we went out deliberately to kick some butt.  We killed and killed and killed.  Then we did it again on the second day.

The Lies: 

1. Mordechai and Esther are husband and wife.  Or at least Rashi says they were. So, so so many things wrong with this message.  That you can just abandon your wife or that the vows you took on your wedding day can be annulled for a little while because it's convenient for you.
2. Esther is a Jew.  You know this, I know this, and she knows this.  Yet somehow when she decides to enter this beauty contest to marry the king (you know, as an already married woman should) and then just not mention it.  And it's not like this wasn't something that should have been brought up.  She chooses to deliberately withhold this information, like it's something we should hide about ourselves.

The Treatment of Women:

1. I've already discussed the unjust murder of Vashti, so that's square one.  But beyond that, we start out with a beauty contest to determine the next queen.  Not that beauty contests are a problem, per se.  It's the fact that this is a legitimate and believable way to choose a queen or a mate that I have issues with.  I don't want EG thinking that the most important part of her is her looks. (of course, the research says I shouldn't tell her she's smart either...)
2. The fact that Esther has to wine and dine her man to make a request also seems a bit trite to me.  Yes, you can explain it away that he's not really her man, Mordechai is.  But then we've come full circle to the problems of women in this story.

But at the end of the day, it does have at least one redeeming factor: The Heroine...Esther initially doesn't want to do anything.  She tells Mordechai that she can't go in front of the King without death.  And he tells her that he's not worried.  His faith in G-d is so great that he knows that somehow they will be saved.  She responds that she will take the plunge, but that she won't go it alone.  This is where things get interesting, and the morals behind the tale take on a surprising turn towards the good.

Esther must approach the King by herself.  Only she can speak the words to him.  Only she can attempt to sway him.  However, before she does so, she asks that everyone in the community fast for three nights and days.  They they join with her, and help her in spirit to accomplish her task.  

The moral of the day, or at least the one I'll be trying to get across to EG this year, is that just because you are scared doesn't mean you can't do it.  Just because you think you can't doesn't mean that when others join with you, that you can't.  You can stand-up. You can have help.  You can overcome.

Divide and Conquer

I'd written this entire post about how we've dealt with having two children.  How we've sort of ended up with a makeshift 'divide and conquer' strategy, rather than the previous 'we are one' strategy that we used to have.  I was going to say that I think it's terrible, and it makes me sad.  But with Working Dad being sick tonight, I'm feeling the pain of not having my right hand man doing his part.

There are so many moments when we are parenting when we are focused on our children.  Which, of course, as parents are almost all consuming.  Especially the parents of an 'I still eat at night and need to be held because I can't walk' 7 month old baby.  And though Working Dad and I do a decent job of date nights (speaking of which, the Growing Garden Gala event is this Saturday night, which is an AWESOME kosher date night if you are interested) and a decent job of trying to connect, but sometimes it feels like we haven't had any sort of real connection for days.

It's a hard thing to think about- because I fundamentally believe that the basis of good parenting is a good relationship between the two people who created the child.  While I realize that's not always possible, I feel like my first obligation is to the man I married, not to the children we created.  First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes the baby in the baby carriage.

Tonight, I'm sitting here alone since Working Dad has another cold.  We just can't seem to keep healthy this season.  But sitting here alone isn't the sad part. It's looking around the kitchen and realizing all the little things that he usually does at night.  Put away Ochos' bathtub, clean the bumbo seat.  Take out the trash and clean up my mess from making dinner.  He's the other half of my entire equation.

So, I think I've changed my mind about 'divide and conquer.'  Sometimes it takes two to tango...or keep a house with two kids running with gas.

Egg-less Challah

This week I've invited over a friend who has a son with a bunch of allergies.  As allergies are nothing new in my household (shout-out to my sister-in-law and oldest nephew) I knew that I wanted to make a meal that everyone could enjoy.

Her son has an allergy to dairy and egg, and she has an allergy to wheat.  Well, I did try to look up a celiac's recipe for challah, but didn't find anything that looked good.  I was given some new flour thats supposed to be not only delicous buy is certified Kosher and wheat-free, so I'm looking forward to using that sometime soon.

But I did find a great egg-less challah recipe that I'm excited to take a gander at.  It's from this blog called the Challah Blog, which isn't really still up, but it's got a great archive of recipes and braiding techniques for those who are into it. 

Recipe:
3 C flour
1/4 cup plus 1/4 tsp sugar
1/4 C natural oil (vegetable or canola)
1 1/4 C Water
1/2 tsp salt
2 1/4 tsp (1 packet) to 1 Tbsp dry yeast
Optional: Maple Syrup for an egg-free shine

As usual, proof your yeast in warm water with a bit of sugar.  Add oil, then water, salt and sugar.  Mix it all up.  If it's too wet add flour, too sticky add water or oil.

Let it rise at least an hour.

Punch down and braid.  Let rise again for an hour

Bake for 20-30 minutes at 350 degrees.

It didn't really turn out that delicious, but in a pinch it would totally do for an egg-less friend.