5 Reasons Rainy Days are Awesome

It can be hard to be a mother on a rainy day.  When you pretty much know that all the plans you had for the park, or the playdates are out the window.  When you realize that your crazy children, who need to burn off some steam, aren't going to be getting that running time you thought they would.

Maybe you are different than me, but my house doesn't have a large multipurpose room, nor does it have a running track inside for the kiddos to leap around...

But just because it's raining, doesn't mean all hope is lost for an amazing, or at least tolerable, day.

1. They will likely sleep in.  Think about how you feel when you wake up and it's raining.  It's gloomy and dark outside- if you have curtains you would probably swear it's still the middle of the night.  That soft sound of the rain pitter-pattering just filters into your subconscious, taking away any of the excess sounds of the day or morning.  The birds are sleeping in, or at least hiding from the rain.  The annoying dog who barks at 7am is still inside, waking up it's owners, rather than you... I think it's a wonderful way to start the morning.

2. Free-play leads to creativity.  When your kids are at home for an extended period of time, it might finally allow them some of the unled totally unstructured freeplay that they need.  There have been so many studies recently that discuss the needs of our children when it comes to play.  That they need to have not just recess, but serious time to devote to whatever makes them happy.  This can seem challenging, especially when they want you to 'play' to, but it's important for our children to take the lead. The many hours of a day of rain can help give your kids that opportunity.

3. Family-play leads to fun memories.  I know I just said that you should let your kiddos play by themselves, but let's also consider the wonderful opportunity to do that activity that usually takes to long.  Baking cookies or a pie.  Building a huge tent fort.  Maybe you finally take out all 14 sets of blocks you have and build the larges block tower ever- go for that world record!  These types of experiences are hard to come by, between the errands, the preschool class, etc.... the obligations of life.  Here's baby Ocho (not quite a baby anymore) helping bake.... and making a lovely mess of it too!

4. Rain play is awesome and totally fun.  This is the plan when the kiddos wake up.  No shoes, pants or shorts with rain jackets.  Out to the park will go we.  To enjoy all that rainy weather has to offer.  Puddles and mud and earthworms.  And I know, you are worried about colds, and laundry and all the other things.  But I promise it will be okay.  No, I'm not a doctor, but an hour or two enjoying the rain and the mud won't give your kid a cold.  Plus it's fun to jump into the bubble bath when you are done in the rain anyways!

5. Watching Nature at work.  If going outside seems like it's to scary or crazy for you, at least make sure the kids stand at an open window or door for a bit.  Watch the water go by.  Grab an umbrella and stand underneath it.  Listen to the sounds of nature.  Rain storms are a perfect time for your children to see G-d in action. To understand that G-d has an impact on the world in a physical way.  Sometimes we forget that G-d gives us the sun, but it's so much easier to see when the world is covered in gray and rain.

At the very least, the rain won't last forever.  And there are MILLIONS of posts and ideas about how to occupy your kids in the house in the rain.  So jump online or pinterest to see all those crazy ideas too.  Just remember that rather than "the man who bumped his head and couldn't get up in the morning," the next time you see rain think "raindrops are falling on my head, but that dosen't mean my eyes will soon be turning red"

Here's to rainy days!

Learning a True Apology for Yom Kippur

One of my goals for EG right now is to start understanding the thoughts and processes behind an apology.  It's been an interesting road to travel down, not just within our family, but within the preschool system, the mommy wars, and the Jewish culture.

It all started a long time ago when I read "It's okay not to share, Renegade Rules for Parenting" and learned a little more about saying "I'm Sorry."  If I'm honest I hadn't given it much thought, but I had vivid memories of fights between my parents about those words.  In my mothers world, the fact that I issued the words I'm sorry meant that all was well and good.  In my fathers, those words meant nothing, and did nothing to change what ill I'd done.  With that in mind, I agreed with Heather Shumaker and decided not to force EG to say she was sorry until it meant something and she could understand what the thoughts were behind the words.

Fast forward to EG being in school for a while and she comes home and issues 'sorry's' left and right.  Just a quick little blip on the map, then moving on with her activity and day.  And that's when I really began to feel like Ms.Shumaker was right.  I don't want empty words to placate me.  However, EG had been learning this at school and it's hard to start to undo what was already done there.

So I redoubled my efforts to get EG to offer something other than empty words.  Ice or a hug when she hurt someone, help and a hand when she knocked something over.  But that didn't go over very well on the local playground.  I remember a vivid confrontation with one mother over my daughters lack of an apology.  Mind you, EG helped the boy up, offered him a turn on the swing, and otherwise was a perfect lady when it came to sorting out the problem.  But this mom only answered back with "Aren't you going to say you're sorry?"

Of course, I now realize the problem with that exchange wasn't just about saying it.  It's with a fundamental misunderstanding in our culture today between the words "I'm Sorry" and "I apologize."  These two things are fundamentally different, and this Yom Kippur I'm trying to set the record straight.

The definition of Sorry:

sor·ry

adjective

adjective: sorry; comparative adjective: sorrier; superlative adjective: sorriest

1.

feeling distress, especially through sympathy with someone else's misfortune.

 

The definition of Apology:

a·pol·o·gy

noun

noun: apology; plural noun: apologies

1.

a regretful acknowledgment of an offense or failure.

Notice the big difference?  Sorry doesn't acknowledge any wrong doing on the part of the person involved.  It makes no one take responsibility for their actions and acknowledge a failure.  This could be a failure of communication, an accident, or an intentional infraction, but no matter what you caused it, and you should own up to it.

I've vowed this Yom Kippur to go beyond the surface and really get to the root of apologizing.  To teach my children that there is no shame, fear or embarrasment about acknowledging you did something wrong.  And as our children grow up one of the best things they can do as an adult is to accept their own failures, learn from them and move on. The new buzz word of the world is grit, and you can't have grit if you can't own up to your own mistakes.

So we'll be teaching EG a new way to apologize.  Starting with word choice. From now on I say the words 'I apologize' when I mean it, and 'I'm sorry' when it's appropriate. I'm helping EG to correct her word choice to.  And I'm offering up this model for her apologies:

1. I apologize for...

2. It was wrong because....

3. In the future I will...

4. Will you forgive me?

 

Of course, just because you apologize doesn't mean you get forgiveness.  It can sometimes take more than just a heartfelt apology to rid your heart of the anger or hurt you feel.  And EG has to learn that too.  It's all about the argument between my parents.  My mom was right that when someone truly apologizes that we should accept their apology.  My dad was right that just because you say some words it doesn't mean that my plate isn't broken anymore... Jewish talmud teaches us that you have to apologize three times to someone, to truly mean it before you can consider yourself having apologized properly and moving on without forgiveness.

If we truly see Yom Kippur as an opportunity for apologies and forgiveness then we can all take a step in the right direction this year.  I'm tired of the blanket 'if i did anything wrong, i'm sorry' approach, and I want to teach EG that she's better than that. I also believe that the heart of Yom Kippur honestly isn't about making apoligies, but rather learning to forgive.

 

I'm hoping that given time she will learn how to take responsibilities for her own actions, own up to the hurt she can cause others with her words and deeds, and then truly take the time to reflect and apologize.  We all know how untempered resentment can build up inside when you feel hurt or taken advantage of.  Hopefully when EG understands the steps to make amends she can make good friendships, be successful in school and work, and have lasting caring relationships.  But that may be too much to put onto one little apology....?

 

 

Jewish Tooth Fairy

I can't believe that I'm writing this, I can't believe that I have a need to figure this out right now.  But I do...

This past weekend while EG was in the loving care of my happy sister-in-law she had an incident.  She jumped off the slide and, in doing so, hit her chin with her knee.  Out popped one of her front teeth.  Thank goodness my SIL & BIL are kind and patient people, who took good care of EG.  She got ice cream, tylenol and a good old fashioned helping of Elsa and Anna. The girl couldn't have been happier.  Mommy however, absolutely devastated.

It's so so so so so hard to have something bad happen to your child.  Add to that the angst of not being there to do something about it. Nothing could be worse for a mother.

And so, here I find myself, debating the merits of the Tooth Fairy.  I took the time to poll just about everyone at Comic-Con what to say.  A few of my favorite responses:

"We got letters telling us our teeth were going to needy babies.  If we didn't brush well enough then she couldn't use our teeth.  I remember once giving a tooth, but not getting any money because she told me my teeth weren't clean enough"

"We had a tooth fairy, but I'm pretty sure I knew a day after she was introduced that she wasn't real."

Of course there were lots of people who didn't have that many memories, or really just didn't care one way or the other.

In my family we each had a different tooth fairy.  While there weren't any letters, etc, my Dad did spin great stories about our tooth fairies.  They were real people, and I honestly don't ever remember being upset about knowing they were fictional.  I don't remember that moment when I found out it was all a lie.

Since EG is so young, it's not like she's inundated at school with inquiries about the tooth fairy. Unlike Santa it's not like there is an army of Tooth Fairies coming out at the same time each year.  I asked my SIL if her kiddos mentioned it, just so I could see if the die had been cast.  She said her kids did mention it, but there has been no mention of it from EG at all.

I'm not sure about having a ceremony for the whole thing, but I did want to mark the occasion somehow.  EG, she wanted me to throw the tooth in the trash.  I wonder if she will remember that thought when I show her the album that has the tooth in later years..?

Turns out that Jewish kids are a step ahead in not believing the fantasies of childhood.  (I didn't access the whole article) Or maybe a step behind if you think about it that way.  There is something magical about having these characters as part of childhood- the idea behind them.  But there is also something sad about telling our children such lies.

I think I like this take on it best, which shows that sometimes even when you've answered your child directly, they don't really take these thoughts to heart as much as we think they do.  How often does EG forget what she's had for dinner, let alone the million of things I say in a day.

I did really like the idea of having a tooth fairy to help teach and learn about flossing, brushing, etc.  The girl at the Convention (yes you phone stealer and photo snapper!) whos parents told her the teeth are used for babies certainly had good motivation for keeping her teeth clean.  And for EG getting her to brush was a nightmare.   If I can have years of good teeth maintenance for the price of $.25 a tooth then I think I'm totally up for that....

This Rabbi is convinced that it doesn't really matter, and I think I agree with him.  He's kind in saying that it's not a lie, really, it's the same thing as running away from the dinosaur under the bed.  But his insistence on not paying kids for doing nothing...?  That one dosen't sit well with me.  As a commenter points out, there is a lot of work towards keeping your teeth healthy.

I think the ending news is that we've done nothing.  She didn't see the dentist until today, and for some reason I wanted to show her the tooth.  And EG isn't interested in putting it under her pillow- as I mentioned, she wants it in the trash.

We did say the Shehecyanu prayer, which we've been saying a lot lately.  I thought it was a good way to mark the occasion.  And it was so funny when we were going to my Dad's house (Grambe) that she told us that no one was supposed to tell him.  "No one.  Shhh"

For now I'll just have my holey grin cutie.  We'll really worry about the Tooth Fairy if/when she looses another tooth and asks about it.

Do you have the tooth fairy?  Any advice?

G-d Bless In-laws

I'm witing this post on the amtrak train to San Diego's comic con.  Yup, I go to comic-con.  But the reason behind the post is because my children aren't with me.  They are with my in laws.

For the first time in forever my baby Ocho is spending the night without me.  I'm overwhelmed with nerves.  But this isn't really about Ocho, it's about EG and the fact that she wants to celebrate shabbat with her cousins...her Christian cousins.  And my wonderful sister in law are going to do it for her.

When EG first asked about shabbat I was a bit out of sorts because this was the first time I've had to tell her that her cousins don't celebrate shabbat like we do.  I never really hid this fact, but we are celebrating people who do Easter and Christmas with them and yet it doesn't really come up that they are different.  Until now.

So I talked with my sister in law and she said she was happy to share shabbat
with EG.   Next I googled 'jewish child celebrating shabbat with non-jewish inlaws'.  And nothing...at least nothing good.

I'm amazed at how apparently infrequently families move beyond their comfort zones to make others happy.  There were some scary things that people talked about using that search criteria...

So here's to inclusive families. And the fact that shabbat is easy to do at home without much fuss.  

Is your child staying somewhere and wants to do shabbat?  Here are the easy directions and prayers to send along.

1.  Send along at least two candles, though in families with kids I prefer to do one candle per person.  That way everyone feels represented and included.

2. Send some challah.  This is likely the only thing that someone wouldn't have that they would need.  Plus it's nice to send bread anyways... just a lovely hand-made hostess gift.

3. Remove the stress and prep your child.  It's so important to have a conversation with the hosts about how the essence of the holiday is enjoyment, relaxation and rest.  It shouldn't be something that's hard, it should be fun.  By the same token, prep your child.  It's likely that you lead shabbat at home and here it will be up to your child to take a larger role.  Afditionally it won't be like shabbat at home is, it will be different.

4.  Send these easy instructions:

Shabbat at home:
Candle Prayer:

Transliteration: Baruch a-ta Adonoi Elo-hei-nu  me-lech. ha-o-lam.  a-sher  ki-di-sha-nu. bi-mitz-vo-tav. vi-tzi-va-noo. li-had-leek. ner shel Shabbat.

*light candles first then say prayers.  It's typical to cover your eyes as well.

Prayer over children

May God Bless you and guard you. May the light of God shine upon you, and be gracious to you. May the presence of God be with you and give you peace.

*this is usually said while holding your hands on the heads of your children.

Prayer over wine.  Baruch Ata Adonoi Elo-hei-nu me-lech ha-o-lam borei porei hagafen. 

*Any wine, or grape juice, will do.  

Prayer over challah:  Baruch Ata Adonoi Elo-hei-nu me-lech ha olam hamotzi lechem  min ha aretz.  

*It's tradition to put some salt to remember the temple, and honey for a good sweet shabbat.

Here's to a good shabbat, and a restful one for you and everyone.

5 things your 3-year old can (and should) do

Now that EG is three I've really ramped up my expectations for her.  Yup, yesterday she could skate on by in life, but today is the start of all the doldrums of life.  Like chores and responsibility... hehe...

1. Setting the table.  All children can help to set the table.  At the beginning it might be something as easy as napkins- no one can break a napkin!  But I'd throw the idea out there that a three year old is capable of doing napkins, silverware (yes, even butter knives for mommy and daddy) as well as their own plate.  It's possible that your three year old could handle bringing the nice plates to the table too!

2. Cleaning up after a meal.  At the very very least your three-year-old can clean up their own place.  That means taking their plate into the sink or the counter, getting their silverware where it needs to go, etc.  Throwing their napkin or yogurt cup into the trash can.  I would go so far as to add that most three-year-olds can help clear a baby sisters plate too.

3. Clean-up after themselves.  This is a wide range of things.  From putting their laundry in the laundry basket, hanging up their own backpack and coat, and cleaning up that milk they spill all over the floor. They are way more capable than we sometimes give them credit for.  Of course, using chemicals is still out of the game (aka, you still need to get out the cleaner when they pee on the floor yet again) but they can get the paper towels just the same.

4. Carrying their own things.  This applies to their backpack and lunch to/from school or daycare.  Their own jacket out to the car.  There is no reason for you to be a pack mule to your preschooler anymore.  If you get in the habit now by the time they hit regular school you can only worry about your own latte (and their younger siblings!)

5.  Packing their own things.  This one is a bit tricky.  It's not like your three-year-old can really guage what the right amount of underwear is for a 3 day trip (I'm going with at least 6 pairs), but they can help make sure that they have everything they need.  Their lovey- make sure they grab it.  Their special blanket- again on them.  Of course you have to pack the essentials like toothpaste and sunscreen, but they can certainly help pick things out and remember them too.  When EG tells me that we forgot something or asks me where something she thinks she needs is I'm fond of saying "well did you bring/remember/pack it?"  This one helps drive that message home that they can be responsible too!

Not all three-year-olds are ready for all these items at once.  Or maybe you are totally ahead of the curve and doing all of these things since your tiny baby was just 2 years old.  If so, then here are a few bonus things for you...

6. Helping cook food.  Most preschoolers can crack eggs, mix and dump things, and many are ready to help stir on the stove top.  Invest in a good stool  (I love the solid wood one from Ikea) and let them get to it. It's so great to have help at dinner time, rather than someone just constantly complaining about when dinner will be ready.   EG loves to help spread sauce, and cut things with her own Ikea plastic knife.  We've even been known to let her use a more dull metal knife on occasion.

7. Make the bed.  This might seem a bit irrelevant, but I think it's an important thing to be doing.  It really changes the make-up of a room and puts everyone on the right step from the beginning.  I help EG make her bed in the mornings, and if I'm honest we don't always get to it after naptime...  Of course, you could think like Eloise and have them make your bed...

Judaism on Turning Three

There is a little known celebration in Judaism for when a child turns three.  No, let me correct that, for when a boy turns three. (yes, there is more to that, yes I'll get to it.) 

There is a statement in the Talmud that compares men to trees, and according to the Torah (commandment 'orlah') you aren't supposed to take fruit or cut a tree until it's third season.  So, since boys are like trees, we don't cut a boys hair until he turns three.

Seems simple, at least when you look up the term Upershin, it seems like a simple little haircut. 

But the reality is so much more...

I went to my first Upershin this past week.  It was absolutely stunning.  The decor, the atmosphere, the celebration.  I love the people who's son we were celebrating.  I have nothing but goodwill and heart-felt congratulations for them.  But I have a lot of problems with an upershin.  And no, none of them have to do with the hair.

The thing they don't really convey with all of their definitions of haircutting is the underlying premise of the whole exercise.  A child's change from being an observer of mitzvot to beginning to learn mitzvot and be responsible for creating good in the world.

Go back and read that again.  Yup.  That's the ticket.  This is what we're really celebrating at an upershin.  It goes way beyond a boy wearing a kippah and tzitzit.  This boy is going to start his formal education in Judaism and start to learn what he needs to know to be a Jewish adult.  Because remember, we only have until he's 13 to teach him everything he needs to know on that score.  We are taking him education in hand today, and starting to impress upon him the gloriousness that is Judaism and Torah.

So let's get back to the real issue.  Why is this only for boys?

It just so happens that an Upershin would be perfect for EG.  My darling daughter hasn't had her hair cut since she's been born.  We have been telling her since she's started asking that she gets her hair cut at three.  Why three you ask- Working Dad just picked that number  at random.  Coincidence?

There is another theory out there about why we wait until three to cut a boys hair.  Again starting at commandment 'orlah' but branching out in a totally different direction.  The Torah is the Tree of Life, and since we are commanded not to partake of the fruits of a tree for the first three years of growth, so it would go that in the first three years of our lives the lessons of the Torah, or the 'fruits of the Tree of Life', is off limits to us.  Torah isn't always easy.  It's not like reading Spot.  At age three, the theory is, our understanding has developed enough to begin learning Torah.  We finally get a taste of the fruit from the 'Tree of Life.'

At the upershin it's customary to have the child start his Torah study right there- usually with a Hebrew alphabet covered in honey.  It's a celebration of the start of an obligation.  That's right, a celebration of an obligation.  On Sunday he didn't need to wear tzitzit, but on Monday he does.  And by celebrating it in this way it makes it something joyous to do, not a negative association.

Now I would be amiss if I didn't point out that there's a tradition that a girl starts lighting candles when she turns three, but somehow the impact of lighting candles and what happens at an upsherin are vastly different.  It's also cloaked in halachic confusion, and also intensely clear that even if you support her lighting the candle her candle cannot count for the obligation to perform the mitzvot.

It all comes down to how we teach our girls what it means to be Jewish at our earliest opportunities.   Singing songs about Ama lighting candles and Abba going to shul; Challah-making for girls, Torah study for boys.

I don't want EG or Ocho to think that Torah isn't sweet.  I want them to have the fruits of the Torah as well.  I want both of my girls to delight in baking challah, learning Talmud, questioning tradition and talking to G-d.  I want all the opportunities of a Jewish life to come easily to them both.  

I could only find one other account of a Jewish girls Upsherin.  While we won't be having her haircut be part of this ritual, I'm determined to celebrate my daughter's transition from babyhood to childhood.  I'm determined to find the spirit in the Upershin and bring it out in EG. 

Here's to a haircut!

One Smart Cookie

I'm constantly amazed by EG.  Yesterday she was desperate to watch Frozen.  But Mommy kept telling her that it was such a nice day outside that it wasn't time for a movie.  So what did EG diecde to do....?

Around 4pm I put Ocho down for her second nap.  Both EG and I ran into my room to look at Ocho on her baby monitor.  Eg spotted my teddy bear on the bed, and immediately started getting excited that our teddies could be friends. 

"Mommy- our teddies are sisters.  No, yours is the mommy, look it's bigger than mine.  Hold your teddy Mommy."

Fast forward five minutes to...

"Mommy, you don't feel well.  That's why you need your teddy.  I'll get my doctoring stuff."

Eg runs around the house gathering assorted doctoring materials from her bedroom. 

"Mommy- I check your ears.  It takes a long time.  Then we check your temperature.  You have a fever.  You need to stay in bed.  I'll call the doctor"

"But EG, I thought you were the doctor."

"No Mommy, I'm the nurse, I take care of you."

She runs away, then comes back about 3 minutes later.  I'm thinking I've got it made- naptime for Mommy too?!

"Mommy, the doctor is coming.  But we need to make you feel better.  I'll brush your hair."

She brings two dolly hairbrushes and my de-tangling spray from the bathroom.

"Here Mommy.  This will make you better.  I'll go get your bottle."

Oh, I'm thinking, I'm a baby now.  That's okay, babies get to sleep too.

"Mommy, you need to get your bear and come to the couch.  We have to put on Ana and Elsa, they will make you feel better.  The doctor told me it would make you feel better while we wait for him.  HeThe boy doctor and the girl doctor are coming after dinner.  I'm the nurse, I'll take care of you."

Wow- what just happened?  Is this what she thinks makes her feel better when she's sick.  How are we know watching Elsa and Ana?  OMG- I just got PLAYED!

I'm trying so hard to figure out why she thinks she's not the doctor (cue nervous mom who thinks that her daughter dosen't have high enough ambitions, or enough science, etc.) but what's really going on here- a ploy for Frozen.

But don't worry, when we were watching it she made sure to tell me that the doctor was on the way, and that I shouldn't be scared because she was here for me.

Wow EG- you are one smart girlie!

5 best gifts for a three year old.

or...at least my three year old.  Yup- My darling EG is turning three this weekend.  I can't believe it's been that long since I gave birth to her, and that she's growing up so fast.  It seems like only yesterday I was getting married, and that just before that I was pregnant for the first time.

In honor of my darling EG, I would like to present her hearts desires:

1. Chapstick.

 

 Specifically the EOS brand of adorable ball chapstick that she's seen Mommy carrying around.  She's been asking me for a while for her own, and somehow I said, when you are three.  And she's turning three, so I guess I'll have to get her some.  It's not cheap as far as chapstick goes, and lord knows that she ends up eating at least half of it since she's decided that it needs to cover her chin too, but this Lemon version has SPF 15, so at least that's something...

2.  Pillow.

EG has been wanting a pillow forever.  I didn't realize that she needed a special one, so the first one I bought at Bed Bath and Beyond was a total bust.  She hated it, I hated it.  What a diaster.  So, I snuck that one away and out came the now famous words "not until you are three."  Which is this week.  So I've decided to buy this Kinder Fluff pillow. Reviews are great, it's not that expensive, and I think she'll like it.  And it will also stop her from using the decorative owl pillow I bought her, which can't be good for her or the pillow anymore.

3. Flip Flops

This is the only thing that she desperately wants that I am taking great pains to buy nice for her.  While the pillow is also a practical thing, I'm not sure it's really practical for her, but flip flops- a necessity at this point.  Everyone else in the family has rainbows, so EG isn't any exception.  I debated buying them online, but with the store so close to Great Grandpa in San Clemente, I think we'll get them in person for her.  She's totally psyched about having them.  Just a little backstory- we've been avoiding getting them because she hated things between her toes, but I think she'll be okay now.

4. A Haircut

MikaelWiman

EG has been wanting to get a haircut for at least a year now.  It all started when Janie and Joe's haircutting moved into the neighborhood.  We go to that park, and when we go she would see all the toys and really want to go in there.  Then Jacob (her cousin) gets haircuts all the time- she wants to be like him.  But Working Dad is so against haircuts.  And luckily for me there is a tradition in Judaism to get your haircut at three years old.  Yes, I know what you are thinking- that tradition only applies to boys.  Well, it's a tradition, not a law.  And anyways if we're not supposed to cut trees for three years, then I'll associate my daughter with a tree if I want to.  So here's to next Saturday's haircut!  Let's hope she likes it when it's all said and done.

5. Strawberry Cake

PetitPlat - Stephanie Kilgast

Yup my girlie is specifying the cake she wants already.  Of course, it was really the only thing I've let her specify about this party.  So I guess I'll do my best to beg, borrow, or bake one for her.  It will be a bit hard to do the baking, since I've packed up most of my packing pans.  I think Suzy Cakes will have to do for this year...  But doesn't this look yummy?

 

Jewish Summer School at Home...?

 Now that the summer is almost upon us, I'm working hard to set-up a mini curriculum for EG.  She'll be home for at least the first portion of the summer, since we'll be moving through July.  I think we've found a great new school for her, but we're still waiting until we are absolutely sure (aka closing on the property) to tell EG.

So, in the meantime I'm going to keep her home.  But I don't want to have weeks and weeks of complete chaos.  I know that kiddos thrive on routine, and without a game plan I'm afraid that we'll end up totally sick of each other in just about every way.

In getting together a game plan, I've started with a Jewish piece.  I've always wanted to bring more Jewish learning into our home- somehow bridge the gap between what she is learning at school (orthodox environment) and what we do at home (Reformadox).  So I've collected a few books.

Obviously I haven't been using these very much yet, but I'm excited to jump in.  Once I've used a few of the lesson plans, I'll come back and give an updated review.

1. Morah Morah, Teach Me Torah.  I chose this book because it goes through each of the weekly parsha.  It gives a clear and easily understood, developmentally appropriate overview of the parsha.  Then it goes on to give dozens of interactive/multimedia ideas about how to engage with what we are learning.  My favorite part is the interactive family discussion questions for the dinner table.  Not all of them are suitable for EG right now, but I'm thrilled that we'll be able to 'grow' into the book.

2. What's Jewish about Butterflies.  This book takes a totally different approach and explores what we might consider as 'ordinary' objects and adds some ideas about how to explore the Jewish roots or pieces of these ideas.  I got this one because I'm positive that I'll be doing some version of teaching EG letters, and I love the idea of a theme for the week.  That's something they do at her school now, so it will feel familiar for me to do it as well.  This way I can also throw in Jewish ideas into everything we do.  The school we are thinking about putting EG into also uses a book by the same author into how to incorporate Judaism into everyday classroom experiences.

3. Jewish and Me, a Teachers guide to Holidays.  This one also has a bit of a lofted view for EG right now, but I loved how it gives specific questions for each of the holidays to ask the children.  It gives a lesson plan approach, which I don't think I'll use, but will give me a framework to add additional things to the holidays.  Technically this is a companion book to the specific books about each holiday.  I got it because I think that I can use other pictures, etc to do what they are doing.  And I didn't want to buy the whole series.

Chatting with EG

Sometimes it's wonderful to get a chance to just chat with your kiddos.  That's how you hear things like this...

"When I grow up I want to be a cart lady (someone who puts the carts away at the grocery store) and Super Man.  And a bottle- that way I can be super with wheels and a straw."

"When I get little you can carry me in your other backpack (baby Bjorn) just like you do with Susie."

"My Daddy's name is Uncle Working Dad. "

"I have two babies.  One is Aunt Susanne and the other is Takeo."

"When I get big I can be a Daddy"

"For my birthday I want my own chapstick.  And a stick"

I just can't believe how much she's growing, and changing and becoming a little adult.

These moments are RUNNING full steam ahead....

Hurry Up: Childhood is leaving

Have you ever had one of those moments when you are hurrying along your children, only to realize that there is absolutely no reason.  You probably know what I'm talking about- the grocery store, the library, all those everyday moments.

When you feel like you have to move move move.  Get it done, get to the next place, and your hurrying the world along. Or at least you are trying to.

Sometimes it's when you are trying to make dinner, and all she wants to do is help you do it.  She wants to stir, or see, or help.  And all you want is to get it done...

These moments- childhood is slipping away.  The teaching moment, the enjoyable moment.  The moments to see her for who she is, and what she's becoming.  Because she's growing up in these moments.  When you are worried about overcooking the sauce, she's learning how she should behave in the kitchen.  She's learning about why you make dinner- for the family, for her father...for an obligation?

I'm constantly amazed at how much she grasps, changes and grows each and everyday.  How she learns to communicate, share and become the girl she is growing up to be.

I want her to be strong, proud, and eager.  I want her to take life by the hands and giggle.  I don't want to tell her not to get dirty before dinner- I want her to explore the world, and not worry about the laundry.  But it's hard.

It's oh so hard....

They are moving faster than the speed of light it seems.  Just yesterday I would swear that Ocho was born, and yet here she is, moving, growing, learning, reacting.  Here they both are, becoming the sisters I've always wanted them to be.  Kind, thoughtful, imaginative.  Turning towards each other for fun, games, and frivolity.  But also when things are hard.  Caring, growing, concerned.  Helping each other through the rough times that can happen in life.

How do they learn these things?  It's those moments when I'm trying to hurry up.  When we need to get dressed to get out of the house- when I would rather be by myself than reading her another story (or the same one for the 15th time).  When it seems easiest just to cut my losses and run.  They are learning.  How to treat each other, how to deal with set-backs.  How to be who they will be.

And though it seems impossible, each moment is one we can't get back.  Each moment they get one step closer to adults and further away from children. Ocho is closer to being one than she is to being born.  And it's amazing.

It's watching her remember something for the first time.  It's seeing her light-up at the sight of her daddy or her sister. It's helping her understand that just because I'm not with her, I still love her, I'm still with her in her heart.

It's teaching them both that they can't take back these moments.  It's helping them see the beauty and the grace in everyday obligations.  Helping them see that childhood is leaving, so we better hurry up and enjoy the moment.

All photos the work of Laura Layera, Luluphoto.

An Easy Purim Craft

Sometimes I don't have time to do something crazy creative for the holidays. Especially for Purim, when it feels like I honestly have just finally put away everything from Halloween and Chanukah just yesterday. (No, seriously, I found another dreidel inside the couch!).

So here is something that almost every Mom (or Dad, or Grandparent!) can put together in about 5 minutes to engage the kiddos in the Purim Story.  It requires so little, I'm almost willing to bet you $5 that you have these items at your house- or something similar that would work really well.

Supplies:
1 piece of card stock like paper
1 straw or handle (Popsicle stick? plastic knife?)
1 pen
1 pair of scissors
Crayons or markers for coloring

To Do:

1. Draw a simple sketch of a Queen Vashti, Queen Esther, Mordechai or Haman.  EG chose Queen Esther.

1. Cut out the drawing, around the basic face.
2. Let the kiddos color to their hearts content (EG colored both sides)

1. Cut out the eyes
2. Attach the handle
3. Play!

Not into making your own drawing?  Print out this printable crown from Chai and Home- what cute little Hamentaschen!

Throwback Thursday: Theodore

When I was a little girl, around 2-3 years old, my mom gave me a CareBear.  She didn't just give me a CareBear, she also gave one to my two best friends at the time- Ilana and Janine.  I sure wish that in all the photos I've been sorting I could find one of the three of us with our bears... maybe...

I present to you, Theodore:

Quite possibly my best and oldest friend.  That's right, he still sleeps on my bed at night.  He became named Theodore when we were in London on my sisters Bat Mitzvah trip.  I remember thinking that calling him Teddy (which was his name until that point) just wasn't a name enough.  He needed to be something more sophisticated, something better.  So, Theodore.

He's amazing. He survived a dog attack (thank you Becky Wilson!), being kidnapped from my bed at camp and soccer overnights.  He's still here through boyfriends, roommates, kids and everything in between. He's never been judgmental, or cruel.  He's always there for a hug.

My husband says I only have two settings- barnacle or golden retriever.  Theodore doesn't mind.  He doesn't have any hair on top of his head because I chewed it all off between the ages of 3-5.  He's just about bald, but unlike Working Dad, he doesn't mind his receding hairline.

When my mom died and I thought I couldn't ever sleep again, he brought me comfort.  When there seems to be no one else to turn to, no one who will hold me long enough for all the sobs to leave my body- there is Theodore.

For good or bad, through thick and thin there he has always been for me. The gift of love that my mom passed along.

So this year, since EG is between 2-3 years old and happens to also have two best friends, I thought I would try to pass along the magic of Theodore to her and her friends...

I give you three girls with three purple bears:

These girls have come to mean a lot not only to EG, but also to me and Working Dad.  They were her first friends in daycare, now people with whom our daughter shares playtime, laughs and fun.  I hope that they might be in our lives for a long time.  But mostly, I hope that her teddy bear might become as important to her as mine is to me.

Of course, there is no way to convince EG to love her teddy bear as I have mine- and I'll share with you that of the three, Theodore doesn't happen to be the 'best' loved of the three.  But he is mine, and by giving one to EG, I hope she gains the kinship of teddy bear.  A love that knows no bounds, has no boundaries, and transcends earthly space and time.  I hope that when bad things come her way, as I know they will, she can hug him and hold him, and remember that she is loved and oh so special.

Do you want a special bear to give to a special child in your life?  Happy Holidays- enter below for a chance to win and celebrate the New Year with a new friend.  a Rafflecopter giveaway

Hand-me-down Clothes

I have been blessed with two beautiful daughters, both of which I am enamoured with.  My sister has been blessed with two adorable boys.  Both of whom are handsome and wonderful.  Unfortunately, my mother had no sons.  Therefore all of the hand-me-downs from our childhood are currently residing in my house.  And I totally love them.

I've put EG in the clothes as the years' have gone by, and I've also started to put Ocho in them as she fits into them.  It's been harder with Ocho, she's got a completely different style of body than EG did when she was a baby.  Ocho is already sleeping in nine month PJ's, but she's juts five months old. 

This pink dress is the one that my sister had formal photos taken in.  There's one of the photos on display in the house.  When I took these photos I had that photo of her in mind.  I realize its not the same, but seeing my daughters wear clothing that was ours really warms my heart.  I know my mom loved seeing my girls in the dresses she kept.  She kept them for so long, that it was so important to her.

 
Both of my girls have been in this blue dress.  I had Ocho wear it to a Chanukah party, and we took some great formal photos of EG in it when she turned six months.  The way Ocho is wearing it would make my mom proud- she was a huge fan of ruffle bottoms and showing off our tushies when we were little.  The tights that Ocho is wearing have ruffles, I promise...

This last one is one of my favorites.  It's a two piece knit outfit with little pink apples along the bust.  When I put it on Ocho I just realized that it has a small tear at the elbow... I'm going to have to get it fixed somehow.

I remember when Mom brought these outfits to me, I was really worried about having my girls wear them, especially the one that my sister wore in photos.  It's hard to keep things clean and tidy, and ensure that then they wear them they don't destroy them.  I had no idea whether my sister would have a second son, but I remember telling her that I wouldn't put my girls in the dress, just in case.  She told me to have them wear them, that it would be fine.  And, it has been.  They really don't make clothing like they used to.  Such detail, and such quality.

I try to buy one or two pieces for each of my girls that they can 'claim' as theirs.  Something that's nicer, likely to last a bit longer than most of the items we have from Carters. Who knows if they will have girls of their own, but if they do, I'll have some hand-me-downs for them.

Do you have any?  Anything you've worn that your children have also?

Throwback Thursday: Camping Part 1

This past Labor Day we took a great risk and went for a great adventure as a family.  We went to our favorite camping spot in Big Sur- Limekiln State Park.  A beach site with a mountain atmosphere, we were  interrupted due to the death of my mom.

However, I thought I would write a bit about the trip, and culminate in some tips and tricks for camping with toddlers and babies.  First, part 1: a general overview of the trip.  Then, Part 2: tips and tricks and things to think about.

First things first-Choosing a camping spot is half the battle.  I recommend that you choose a place you or your friends have been to before.  Nothing is worse than walking into a totally new situation with no idea what's happening.   Things that we think are important- running water and showers, flushing toilets, more than one thing to do in the campground.  Additionally, I don't recommend going more than 5-6 hours from home, and more than 1-2 hours from the nearest town/city with amenities.

Once you get at the campground, you have to set-up.

We are big fans of packing and organizing in large tubs.  They make keeping things bug, bear and critter free much easier.  They also make it easier for larger groups to work together to enjoy camping.

On this trip we had two other families- one with a 2 year old and a baby, another with an almost 3 year old.  We did joint dinners, but decided that everyone would do their own snacks and lunch.  In hindsight, I would have done joint snacks and lunch.  Everyone brought goldfish, pouches, etc.  We had a lot of doubling-up.

The tubs also make it easy to know what's for what meal, and what belongs to each family.

We are also fans of organizing your camping spots together- decide on a community table, a community kitchen and a community fire/fun area.  You go camping not only to get away, but also to enjoy the company of friends.

Camp chairs are totally critical- and thanks to the Goldmans for Ocho's lovely sweatshirt- perfect for the trip!

When setting up camp, I recommend thinking about where the fire/sound will be coming from in realtion to the kiddos.  For us it made the most sense to put the car between the kiddos and the campfire.  The other tents were on the other side of the community table, but not a spot we were likely to be hanging out later at night.

We own a great tent- we had Ocho inside the main tent with us, bundled and sleeping in her car seat.  That worked totally well.  I thought I took some photos of inside the tent, but I guess not.  We had EG sleep in her own little tent outside of the main tent, but under the rain fly.  I realize as I write this that this seems harsh and mean, but the reality is that she needs her own space, and her little KidCo Peapod, does the trick.  She napped in it each day, and then slept in it each night.  It has it's own mattress, and it's a totally great little tent for her.

I don't think I've discussed the crazy drama that took place as we were supposed to be leaving- because if you've seen other pictures of our family, you might remember that we don't have a white car- we have a black Tahoe.  On the day before we're set to leave, Working Dad realizes that there's a problem with his transmission.  Between that and the Tuesday decision to outlaw fires in camp, we had a rough time getting going.

No worries- EG figured out how to get us there....

One of the best things that we did was bring along a bunch of spots for the baby to safely hang out.  Here she is on her bouncer down at the beach.  We had a great time at the beach on Saturday morning- watching dolphins and whales.

It struck me as really tragic that I was having such a good night and a great day when my Dad was discovering my mom.  But I've come to realize that I had to be doing something, and whatever it was I was doing that day will be indelibly preserved in my mind. So it's nice that we were having such a lovely time, because it really was nice.

In this picture you can also see the little sunshade tent that we brought along.  Since this is such a rocky beach we weren't able to let Ocho sleep in there, but it was still a great place for the older ones to get out of the sun for a bit.

One of the best things about this campground is the stream that runs by almost all the campgrounds. It's absolutely wonderful, because it lets you sleep in with the natural white noise it creates.  Additionally it creates an interesting play space for the kiddos down by the beach, where the river meets the ocean.  It's the best of all the possible beach scenarios in my opinion.

The other great thing about this campground is that there is a great hiking trail right in camp.  After spending the morning down at the beach we all walked back to camp, had lunch and let the littles take naps.  Then we geared up to go on the hiking trail to the waterfall.

Some of the other kiddos didn't go in a backpack, but walked the whole trail, so it's definitely doable for a 2-3 year old (if you want to walk really slowly!).  It's a great trail with the water running towards it.  I don't have any pictures of EG there this year, which is so sad because I have this one from her first visit at 1 year old...