5 Reasons Rainy Days are Awesome

It can be hard to be a mother on a rainy day.  When you pretty much know that all the plans you had for the park, or the playdates are out the window.  When you realize that your crazy children, who need to burn off some steam, aren't going to be getting that running time you thought they would.

Maybe you are different than me, but my house doesn't have a large multipurpose room, nor does it have a running track inside for the kiddos to leap around...

But just because it's raining, doesn't mean all hope is lost for an amazing, or at least tolerable, day.

1. They will likely sleep in.  Think about how you feel when you wake up and it's raining.  It's gloomy and dark outside- if you have curtains you would probably swear it's still the middle of the night.  That soft sound of the rain pitter-pattering just filters into your subconscious, taking away any of the excess sounds of the day or morning.  The birds are sleeping in, or at least hiding from the rain.  The annoying dog who barks at 7am is still inside, waking up it's owners, rather than you... I think it's a wonderful way to start the morning.

2. Free-play leads to creativity.  When your kids are at home for an extended period of time, it might finally allow them some of the unled totally unstructured freeplay that they need.  There have been so many studies recently that discuss the needs of our children when it comes to play.  That they need to have not just recess, but serious time to devote to whatever makes them happy.  This can seem challenging, especially when they want you to 'play' to, but it's important for our children to take the lead. The many hours of a day of rain can help give your kids that opportunity.

3. Family-play leads to fun memories.  I know I just said that you should let your kiddos play by themselves, but let's also consider the wonderful opportunity to do that activity that usually takes to long.  Baking cookies or a pie.  Building a huge tent fort.  Maybe you finally take out all 14 sets of blocks you have and build the larges block tower ever- go for that world record!  These types of experiences are hard to come by, between the errands, the preschool class, etc.... the obligations of life.  Here's baby Ocho (not quite a baby anymore) helping bake.... and making a lovely mess of it too!

4. Rain play is awesome and totally fun.  This is the plan when the kiddos wake up.  No shoes, pants or shorts with rain jackets.  Out to the park will go we.  To enjoy all that rainy weather has to offer.  Puddles and mud and earthworms.  And I know, you are worried about colds, and laundry and all the other things.  But I promise it will be okay.  No, I'm not a doctor, but an hour or two enjoying the rain and the mud won't give your kid a cold.  Plus it's fun to jump into the bubble bath when you are done in the rain anyways!

5. Watching Nature at work.  If going outside seems like it's to scary or crazy for you, at least make sure the kids stand at an open window or door for a bit.  Watch the water go by.  Grab an umbrella and stand underneath it.  Listen to the sounds of nature.  Rain storms are a perfect time for your children to see G-d in action. To understand that G-d has an impact on the world in a physical way.  Sometimes we forget that G-d gives us the sun, but it's so much easier to see when the world is covered in gray and rain.

At the very least, the rain won't last forever.  And there are MILLIONS of posts and ideas about how to occupy your kids in the house in the rain.  So jump online or pinterest to see all those crazy ideas too.  Just remember that rather than "the man who bumped his head and couldn't get up in the morning," the next time you see rain think "raindrops are falling on my head, but that dosen't mean my eyes will soon be turning red"

Here's to rainy days!

Things I'm loving

It's an odd day for there to be a few different internet ideas or television items that I'm loving, but right now, I couldn't help but share these two:

1.  This breastfeeding video.  You all know I'm pro breastfeeding, and I'm also totally anti the cover.  It's just not a thing for me.  I'm not embarrassed and I just don't want to create a whole situation where I don't feel comfortable nursing and feeding Ocho, or any other baby I might have.  That's not to say that I'm not happy to go somewhere private if it's convenient for me and her.  Honestly she's a bit distractable when I'm nursing, so a little privacy can really help.

There have been so many moments when I haven't felt comfortable.  Both strangers, and I'm sad to say, members of my own family and social circle have made me feel like nursing isn't okay.  But that's fine, I'm still going to nurse her when she needs it.

I've  enjoyed nursing both of my girls.  There are definitely moments when it's tiresome, or bothersome, but most moments I enjoy the connection.  With Ocho I'm constantly reminded that this time period is so short.  If this was EG I would will only be nursing for a few more months... these are beautiful moments with mother and child, and I hope that the world begins to recognize that.  I'm just a mother, breastfeeding her baby.

2. This commercial about taking vacation.  It's tone is a little negative (I'm not a fan of trying to guilt anyone into doing anything, even taking vacation) but I love that there's a 'movement' to take more time off.  It's true how often we hear that we can't possibly take time off.  There's nothing like a vacation to reconnect the family.  Between time together and no responsibilites even a weekend getaway can reconnect a family.

Here's to embracing our vacation time.  Here's to recognizing that as important as our work is, our legacy in the world is our family.  What will stay with us forever are the families we create and the memories we have with them.  No one knows that better than someone who just lost their mom.  We're about to go on a memorial vacation with my side of the family.  How sad that we couldn't get it together to get together before she died.  That the last family vacation we had was in October of 2014....

Oh well- embrace the moment.  Take the time off!

A Review: South Bay Adult School

Since Ocho was about 3 months old inside my tummy I've had her registered for the South Bay Adult School Parent Education program.  I had planned to just take her for the first three months of my maternity leave, not planning to be off for so long.  I had wispy daydreams about my boss letting me take that day as a work from home day, and taking Ocho to the classes as a benefit of my new job.

Alas, things were very different than I had planned them to be.  But, in this case, it worked out nicely.  My first class with the SBAS was the week after my mother passed in September.  And I was sort of a wreck.  I remember that one of the moms shared that she was from Belgium, and the hardest part of motherhood so far was that her mom left to go home.  I remember crying so hard...

But enough about me- let's talk about class.

The 411:
-Offered on various days of the week, morning or afternoon.  We take Wednesday morning 9:30-11:30am
-Parent Education.  They really mean this.  It has some elements of a mommy and me, but it's really about educating parents.  We have guest speakers on everything from sleep to saving for college.
-Format: 20-24 caregivers with their kiddos.  Twins and triplets welcome, as well as dad's and grandmas.
-Morning chat time, singing, snack, then discussion about the topic of the day.

In the beginning the time was spent really chatting as parents, since the kiddos slept basically all the time.  Ocho didn't really have much say, we just went to class, hung out, and I met a lot of great moms.

As time went on, the kiddos started to have a bit more fun...

Now it's a ton of fun for each of us.  I really enjoy the new toys that Ocho gets to play with, and watching her interact with other babies.  It's great for her socialization.  I have to admit, the discussions don't usually much interest me.  While the class is made up of all types of parents ( and grandparents!) the structured discussions don't usually seem to mean a lot to me as a second time mom.  However, the random chatting is absolute gold.

If you live in the South Bay (Westchester to PDV) it's a great place to think about meeting some new moms, and really getting to know a community.  Best part- the classes continue beyond this age range into drop-them-off preschool.

Ocho my Ocho- growing up is hard on Mommy

It's official- she's crawling and pulling up to stand.  And I feel like it's the beginning of the end...

If you have more than one child you might realize this point in time.  When you have your first one everything is so new- each accomplishment is just so exciting.  Then you have baby #2.   You have an idea of the map of things.  Of course, they do things differently, but you have some sort of theory about what might happen.  And that's when you realize that you really don't have that much time.

Ocho is officially 8 months old, crawling on her belly and pulling up to stand.  These are great things.  she's right on the mark in terms of timing, and development. That's great.  But I've been overcome with the fact that this is the beginning of the end.

We went to the Huntington Library this past week- sans kiddos thanks to the in-laws.  And they have this beautiful image there:

It's called Breakfast in Bed by Mary Cassatt.  And it's got everything that I feel inside of me.  Most people comment on the watchful eye that mom has on her baby.  The way she's watching baby while baby is watching the world.  But I see so much more...

Yes, Ocho has started to engage in the outside world more than she engages with me.  She's so excited by everything around here that dear old mom is just sort of an exercise in food and comfort.  It's only truly about mom when she's nursing in her rocking chair, and she's let down her guard.  When she has me hold up her little non-nursing side foot and we're cuddled up together....

Otherwise, it's distraction.  It's everything else.  It's crawling to see what else I can get my hands on.  It's exploring the world, and taking everything I'm not supposed to have.

This is the beginning of the end.  This is the time when my baby starts to really become a child.  When she becomes a little girl, and every thing is about what is beyond her- the room, the space, the world. 

Of course, I'm raising an adult.  I'm grooming her to be a productive member of the greater world.  With care and concern, grace and poise, attitude and energy.  So I'll try not to be so sad as she begins to make her own footprints on the world...who knows where she will go...

Hurry Up: Childhood is leaving

Have you ever had one of those moments when you are hurrying along your children, only to realize that there is absolutely no reason.  You probably know what I'm talking about- the grocery store, the library, all those everyday moments.

When you feel like you have to move move move.  Get it done, get to the next place, and your hurrying the world along. Or at least you are trying to.

Sometimes it's when you are trying to make dinner, and all she wants to do is help you do it.  She wants to stir, or see, or help.  And all you want is to get it done...

These moments- childhood is slipping away.  The teaching moment, the enjoyable moment.  The moments to see her for who she is, and what she's becoming.  Because she's growing up in these moments.  When you are worried about overcooking the sauce, she's learning how she should behave in the kitchen.  She's learning about why you make dinner- for the family, for her father...for an obligation?

I'm constantly amazed at how much she grasps, changes and grows each and everyday.  How she learns to communicate, share and become the girl she is growing up to be.

I want her to be strong, proud, and eager.  I want her to take life by the hands and giggle.  I don't want to tell her not to get dirty before dinner- I want her to explore the world, and not worry about the laundry.  But it's hard.

It's oh so hard....

They are moving faster than the speed of light it seems.  Just yesterday I would swear that Ocho was born, and yet here she is, moving, growing, learning, reacting.  Here they both are, becoming the sisters I've always wanted them to be.  Kind, thoughtful, imaginative.  Turning towards each other for fun, games, and frivolity.  But also when things are hard.  Caring, growing, concerned.  Helping each other through the rough times that can happen in life.

How do they learn these things?  It's those moments when I'm trying to hurry up.  When we need to get dressed to get out of the house- when I would rather be by myself than reading her another story (or the same one for the 15th time).  When it seems easiest just to cut my losses and run.  They are learning.  How to treat each other, how to deal with set-backs.  How to be who they will be.

And though it seems impossible, each moment is one we can't get back.  Each moment they get one step closer to adults and further away from children. Ocho is closer to being one than she is to being born.  And it's amazing.

It's watching her remember something for the first time.  It's seeing her light-up at the sight of her daddy or her sister. It's helping her understand that just because I'm not with her, I still love her, I'm still with her in her heart.

It's teaching them both that they can't take back these moments.  It's helping them see the beauty and the grace in everyday obligations.  Helping them see that childhood is leaving, so we better hurry up and enjoy the moment.

All photos the work of Laura Layera, Luluphoto.

Purim Costumes with a Baby

Do you have your Purim costume ready?  Or do you have a tiny little baby who no longer fits into the costume you bought for Halloween, and no time/energy/desire to go out and get a new one.

Here are a few ideas I have for you...

1. Shepard and Sheep. Got anything furry/fuzzy in white for the little one?  Some PJs or a fuzzy sweater.  Even just a white onsie.  Got a bit more time... make a sheep hat or shirt for the baby.  Just sew on some cotton balls...  

Yup- Wandering Mist made this while costume in about 3 hours.  Now, since you have a baby, it won't be so bad.  I'm serious though.  Thrown on a long dress of any kind, one of those summer frocks you have.  Then grab a white sheet or something in a contrasting color.  Add a headband to your head around the sheet= shepard.  Baby in white with a cotton ball hat- you are so done.

Also, I'm totally not judging if you run to target and buy an easter bunny outfit and cut off the ears.  Seriously...

2. Heart on your sleeve.  This one is even easier.  Did you get some adorable heart onsie or PJ for Valentines day.  Ocho got an adorable sleeper at Old Navy when I went to visit my Dad but forgot any PJ's for her.  The one below is from KMart.  Just hold her in your arms (on one side) and when people ask tell her she's your heart, on your sleeve.  Yup, a total groaner, but it totally works!

3. Mac from The Neighbors.  I know, total cop-out, but put the baby in an outward facing Bjorn, and wear a blue shirt- totally good to go.  Grab some fake glasses for the effect (and totally put some gel in your hair!) It's a legit Seth Rogan film (which I don't think anyone saw) but if you own it, it's totally yours!

oh poop....

Yup, that's right.  This is a conversation about poop.  I'm sure that most of you want to stop reading right now.  Don't worry, I won't be showing you any poop- or at least not any already cleaned-up poop...

Our darling little Ocho spent most of our time in Tahoe pooping.  Yup, pooping.  I'm sure you are thinking to yourself, could it really have been that bad.  I mean, could she have pooped so much more than normal that it seems significant to write about.  Everyone poops you know.

And yes, Ocho poops too.  This Tahoe trip will probably not make it into her top 5 poopy moments, especially when we already had this moment:

Yes, she's wearing a yellow shirt.  But yes, that's poop all up her back.  No, she didn't wake up.

This past week in Tahoe we experienced not one or two, but 7 blow-outs.  This is why we usually use cloth diapers.  They keep in the poop, because they aren't designed to soak things up, rather to hold them in.  But anyways, back to the story.

When we got home, I had so many items that were stained with poop by Ocho.  The only saving grace is that at least it's easy to clean.  Which leads us to this image of my front stoop this morning.  This is the site that greeted the mailman.  And yes, I'm aware that Working Dad would be none to pleased that I'm airing our dirty laundry...literally.

Yup- poopy diapers and clothing on the stoop.  It's incredible to imagine what I would be doing without a dryer.  But a few hours (sometimes minutes) in the sunshine and all the stains go away.  So easy.

How do you deal with poop?  Any good thoughts for non-baby stains?  EG is a master of the messy eating plus potty training is heading our way.

Hand-me-down Clothes

I have been blessed with two beautiful daughters, both of which I am enamoured with.  My sister has been blessed with two adorable boys.  Both of whom are handsome and wonderful.  Unfortunately, my mother had no sons.  Therefore all of the hand-me-downs from our childhood are currently residing in my house.  And I totally love them.

I've put EG in the clothes as the years' have gone by, and I've also started to put Ocho in them as she fits into them.  It's been harder with Ocho, she's got a completely different style of body than EG did when she was a baby.  Ocho is already sleeping in nine month PJ's, but she's juts five months old. 

This pink dress is the one that my sister had formal photos taken in.  There's one of the photos on display in the house.  When I took these photos I had that photo of her in mind.  I realize its not the same, but seeing my daughters wear clothing that was ours really warms my heart.  I know my mom loved seeing my girls in the dresses she kept.  She kept them for so long, that it was so important to her.

 
Both of my girls have been in this blue dress.  I had Ocho wear it to a Chanukah party, and we took some great formal photos of EG in it when she turned six months.  The way Ocho is wearing it would make my mom proud- she was a huge fan of ruffle bottoms and showing off our tushies when we were little.  The tights that Ocho is wearing have ruffles, I promise...

This last one is one of my favorites.  It's a two piece knit outfit with little pink apples along the bust.  When I put it on Ocho I just realized that it has a small tear at the elbow... I'm going to have to get it fixed somehow.

I remember when Mom brought these outfits to me, I was really worried about having my girls wear them, especially the one that my sister wore in photos.  It's hard to keep things clean and tidy, and ensure that then they wear them they don't destroy them.  I had no idea whether my sister would have a second son, but I remember telling her that I wouldn't put my girls in the dress, just in case.  She told me to have them wear them, that it would be fine.  And, it has been.  They really don't make clothing like they used to.  Such detail, and such quality.

I try to buy one or two pieces for each of my girls that they can 'claim' as theirs.  Something that's nicer, likely to last a bit longer than most of the items we have from Carters. Who knows if they will have girls of their own, but if they do, I'll have some hand-me-downs for them.

Do you have any?  Anything you've worn that your children have also?

After Thanksgiving comes sick....

I don't know if your family is like my family, but it seems that whenever we have Thanksgiving we always get sick.  It's like the world is officially saying "Welcome to the Cold and Flu Season."

This year I know that EG and me both had our flu shots, but with Ocho being only 4 months old she's got minimal protection from just about everything.  Mommy gets sick, so does baby.  And that's what's hit us this time around.

So, tips and tricks for surviving babies first sickness...

Congestion: 
1. When babies get congested, they can't breathe through their noses.  Since they eat by sucking (bottle or breast) and breathing through their noses being congested can really impact everything.  First things first, get a humidifier.  It's a lifesaver and can really impact everything.  It seems counterintuitive, but keeping their noses moist means that they continue to breathe okay.  It means that the airflow continues and they aren't gasping for breath.
2. When sleeping, you should raise the head of the bed.  This helps to ensure that the nasal passages are draining down and out, rather than just sitting.  When they are awake, have them sit in something with an incline, like your bouncer, swing, or nap nanny.
3. Hot showers for babies do wonders.  Much better than baths for releasing mucus in the system.  It may seem scary to take your infant in the shower (slippery baby) but it can really really help.
4. Snot sucking seems a bit gross, but can really help.  Babies don't have any concept of blowing out of their nose.  They really only suck in, rather than out.  Therefore it's up to you as Mommy or Daddy to get the snot out. This seems really gross, but get the NoseFrida. It's totally the best, and does a lot better than any of those bulbs they gave you at the hospital.
 
Fever:
1. Tylenol.  It's your best friend. It goes entirely by weight, and that means that Ocho gets half of what EG gets at 2 years old.  Obviously check with your doctor, but generally it's eery 4 hours as needed.
2. Motrin.  Sometimes you need both of them to keep the night going.  Your child may wake up after 3 hours of tylenol, and that's where the motrin comes into play.  It's every 6 hours.  It's not recommended for children under 6 months, and again, ask your doctor.

Cough:
1. There's nothing you can really do about the cough. Feed on demand and often to soothe the sore throats.

Additional things to remember-

They steal your antibodies, so don't be surprised if you are sick much longer than normal.
Sleep training should be put on hold.  It's not fair and won't turn out nicely for anyone.
Everyone gets better- don't give up hope!

Throwback Thursday: Camping Part 1

This past Labor Day we took a great risk and went for a great adventure as a family.  We went to our favorite camping spot in Big Sur- Limekiln State Park.  A beach site with a mountain atmosphere, we were  interrupted due to the death of my mom.

However, I thought I would write a bit about the trip, and culminate in some tips and tricks for camping with toddlers and babies.  First, part 1: a general overview of the trip.  Then, Part 2: tips and tricks and things to think about.

First things first-Choosing a camping spot is half the battle.  I recommend that you choose a place you or your friends have been to before.  Nothing is worse than walking into a totally new situation with no idea what's happening.   Things that we think are important- running water and showers, flushing toilets, more than one thing to do in the campground.  Additionally, I don't recommend going more than 5-6 hours from home, and more than 1-2 hours from the nearest town/city with amenities.

Once you get at the campground, you have to set-up.

We are big fans of packing and organizing in large tubs.  They make keeping things bug, bear and critter free much easier.  They also make it easier for larger groups to work together to enjoy camping.

On this trip we had two other families- one with a 2 year old and a baby, another with an almost 3 year old.  We did joint dinners, but decided that everyone would do their own snacks and lunch.  In hindsight, I would have done joint snacks and lunch.  Everyone brought goldfish, pouches, etc.  We had a lot of doubling-up.

The tubs also make it easy to know what's for what meal, and what belongs to each family.

We are also fans of organizing your camping spots together- decide on a community table, a community kitchen and a community fire/fun area.  You go camping not only to get away, but also to enjoy the company of friends.

Camp chairs are totally critical- and thanks to the Goldmans for Ocho's lovely sweatshirt- perfect for the trip!

When setting up camp, I recommend thinking about where the fire/sound will be coming from in realtion to the kiddos.  For us it made the most sense to put the car between the kiddos and the campfire.  The other tents were on the other side of the community table, but not a spot we were likely to be hanging out later at night.

We own a great tent- we had Ocho inside the main tent with us, bundled and sleeping in her car seat.  That worked totally well.  I thought I took some photos of inside the tent, but I guess not.  We had EG sleep in her own little tent outside of the main tent, but under the rain fly.  I realize as I write this that this seems harsh and mean, but the reality is that she needs her own space, and her little KidCo Peapod, does the trick.  She napped in it each day, and then slept in it each night.  It has it's own mattress, and it's a totally great little tent for her.

I don't think I've discussed the crazy drama that took place as we were supposed to be leaving- because if you've seen other pictures of our family, you might remember that we don't have a white car- we have a black Tahoe.  On the day before we're set to leave, Working Dad realizes that there's a problem with his transmission.  Between that and the Tuesday decision to outlaw fires in camp, we had a rough time getting going.

No worries- EG figured out how to get us there....

One of the best things that we did was bring along a bunch of spots for the baby to safely hang out.  Here she is on her bouncer down at the beach.  We had a great time at the beach on Saturday morning- watching dolphins and whales.

It struck me as really tragic that I was having such a good night and a great day when my Dad was discovering my mom.  But I've come to realize that I had to be doing something, and whatever it was I was doing that day will be indelibly preserved in my mind. So it's nice that we were having such a lovely time, because it really was nice.

In this picture you can also see the little sunshade tent that we brought along.  Since this is such a rocky beach we weren't able to let Ocho sleep in there, but it was still a great place for the older ones to get out of the sun for a bit.

One of the best things about this campground is the stream that runs by almost all the campgrounds. It's absolutely wonderful, because it lets you sleep in with the natural white noise it creates.  Additionally it creates an interesting play space for the kiddos down by the beach, where the river meets the ocean.  It's the best of all the possible beach scenarios in my opinion.

The other great thing about this campground is that there is a great hiking trail right in camp.  After spending the morning down at the beach we all walked back to camp, had lunch and let the littles take naps.  Then we geared up to go on the hiking trail to the waterfall.

Some of the other kiddos didn't go in a backpack, but walked the whole trail, so it's definitely doable for a 2-3 year old (if you want to walk really slowly!).  It's a great trail with the water running towards it.  I don't have any pictures of EG there this year, which is so sad because I have this one from her first visit at 1 year old...

Ocho- 3 months

My darling Ocho- what a time it's been with you so far.  I can't believe you're already 3 months old. It's like you new it was your birthday and you immediately decided to grab your hands, start to giggle and follow me around. 

You kick you feet- find your hands- grab onto toys.  You're still in love with hanging out on your back, and that face of yours has become even more precious...

You are an intensely expressive and happy child.   While you go from happy to not in about 60 seconds flat, your smile and your expressions are totally infectious.  People stop in stores to stare at you and you 'ham it up' for just about everyone you meet.

This sweet expression is one of my favorites- it's like your eyes are so full of love I almost don't know what to do with myself.  

Your sweet little giggle is infectious- and you give it to us all the time.  It's like you know sometimes when momma is sad, or hurting, or could just use a laugh.  You give that smile, that giggle, without hesitation.

It's amazing to be your mother, and I'm so glad you are here with us.  I love you, all of your smiles, your tears, your crys and everything in between.

Sleep...or that elusive event that doesn't happen...

Well Mommas and Daddy- you survived.  The saddest part about Fall- the time change that Fall's back- also known as "They were waking up at 5am, now it's 4am- WTF."

Did that happen to you this weekend?  Did you wake up on Sunday only to realize that it wasn't even 6am, but it was 5am?

Well, here's to sleep training....

I had started a post a few days ago with a happy letter to the swaddle.  It started to intone my joy and love of the swaddle, who I was going to credit for my happy 7 hours of sleep that I finally got from my adorable Ocho.

And then it didn't work.  It worked for only one night, and then quit on me.  Another example of how the only thing you have to rely on with sleep and with children is constant change.

So, I'm stepping back.  Going back to the basics of sleep training, and I thought I would share our plan with you- in case some of you also need to rely on a plan in hopes of ever sleeping again.  (PS- sleep training doesn't have to mean Cry-it-out.  There are LOTS of ways to 'train' and even if you aren't doing anything, you are.  It's the same way you've trained your child to understand that going in the car means a carseat, etc.  Everything is a type of 'training' if you will....)

I want to preface all of this with the thought that everyone needs to do what's right for their family.  Until EG was 3 months old that was co-sleeping for us.  Yup, right in my bed.  Every family needs to discuss and decide what will work for them, and then make attempts at doing that.  And yes, your family includes your husband, child, other children and yourself.  It likely does not include your mother-in-law, sister, or brother.  But, who knows who lives in your house... With that in mind, here's the plan.

1. COMMIT:  Children can sense your weaknesses.  They know when you aren't committed to the process.  And no matter what process you have decided to go with- commit to it fully.  For at least a week.  I recommend starting on a Thursday- since things usually get worse before they get better it allows for only one work day before you have a few days to get through the nights.

2. SLEEP ASSOCIATIONS:  If you search online for sleep training one of the things you'll hear over and over again is sleep association.  That your child associates something with sleep is very likely.  The usual culprits are nursing (ding ding in this house) and walking/falling asleep on mommy/daddy.  These are wonderful things we do for our children.  They are nice and natural and totally find if you want to continue doing them.  It's when you don't want to do them anymore that they become negative sleep associations, rather than just an association.  So you have to create new associations.  One of the best ways to do that is to create a routine.  And stick to it over anything else.  Yes, this means that you need to be in your house, doing your routine at whatever time is bedtime.  For us, it's 7pm.  We nurse, do bath, get PJs, nurse again, then read a story and sing a song.  Then it's lights out and in her crib.  No, it's not magic the first time you do it, but give it a week or two, and then see what happens.

3. NIGHT TIME NURSING: This one is probably the most controversial to discuss, and it's also a really delicate concept.  For us, I want to make sure that my daughter needs to eat, and that she's not just eating because she's been eating before.  How do we know if she's hungry?  Mostly by how she eats when we let her eat.  If it's 10pm and she's nursing like a champ, then falls asleep contentedly, then she was likely hungry.  If she nibbles then falls asleep on the nipple, then still fusses when you put her down, likely a sleep association.  It's totally a tricky situation, but it can make or break you at 3am.  It's also hard because they could be reverse-cycling, which means eating at night rather than during the day.  This usually happens with a kiddo in daycare, and when they get really distracted at around 4 months, but it can also happen if you continue to feed each night.  It's important to make sure you really feed during the day to ensure this isn't happening.

So we've started swaddling her, have refined the routine with two kiddos, and have committed to not feeding her the moment she wakes up.  Currently Working Dad gets up with her and spends at least 20 minutes putting her back to sleep.  If that's a total failure, he gets me up and we see how she eats.  As long as she's eating, we'll keep nursing, but I'm hopeful that will change.

How's sleep going for you?  Do you have a plan?

Remember New Mothers....

Remember that they were inside you for 9 months.

Remember that in 9 months they will likely be able to crawl.

Remember that at 2am and all you want to do is sleep, all they want in the world is you.... your smell, your touch, your voice.  All they have known in this world...

Remember that it's a short timespan.  That this...

Becomes this... before you know it.

Remember that despite the long nights, she is looking into your eyes with love.

Remember that you created those eyes, and those toes- you, her dad and G-d.

Remember that you've sustained her life since it was conceived, and if you are breastfeeding all she's ever had to sustain her was you.

Remember that she's not demanding you to be selfish.

Remember that she's not in it for anything.

Remember that sometimes it's okay to let her cry- that the carseat must be buckled, and the trip to the bathroom by yourself when you thought she was asleep won't cause her to think she's unloved.

Remember that you have support- that family, those friends, all those people who love all of you.

Remember.  At two am, know that I'm remembering for you.

Shabbat Shalom- may your night be wonderful, and your Shabbat be restful...