G-d Bless In-laws

I'm witing this post on the amtrak train to San Diego's comic con.  Yup, I go to comic-con.  But the reason behind the post is because my children aren't with me.  They are with my in laws.

For the first time in forever my baby Ocho is spending the night without me.  I'm overwhelmed with nerves.  But this isn't really about Ocho, it's about EG and the fact that she wants to celebrate shabbat with her cousins...her Christian cousins.  And my wonderful sister in law are going to do it for her.

When EG first asked about shabbat I was a bit out of sorts because this was the first time I've had to tell her that her cousins don't celebrate shabbat like we do.  I never really hid this fact, but we are celebrating people who do Easter and Christmas with them and yet it doesn't really come up that they are different.  Until now.

So I talked with my sister in law and she said she was happy to share shabbat
with EG.   Next I googled 'jewish child celebrating shabbat with non-jewish inlaws'.  And nothing...at least nothing good.

I'm amazed at how apparently infrequently families move beyond their comfort zones to make others happy.  There were some scary things that people talked about using that search criteria...

So here's to inclusive families. And the fact that shabbat is easy to do at home without much fuss.  

Is your child staying somewhere and wants to do shabbat?  Here are the easy directions and prayers to send along.

1.  Send along at least two candles, though in families with kids I prefer to do one candle per person.  That way everyone feels represented and included.

2. Send some challah.  This is likely the only thing that someone wouldn't have that they would need.  Plus it's nice to send bread anyways... just a lovely hand-made hostess gift.

3. Remove the stress and prep your child.  It's so important to have a conversation with the hosts about how the essence of the holiday is enjoyment, relaxation and rest.  It shouldn't be something that's hard, it should be fun.  By the same token, prep your child.  It's likely that you lead shabbat at home and here it will be up to your child to take a larger role.  Afditionally it won't be like shabbat at home is, it will be different.

4.  Send these easy instructions:

Shabbat at home:
Candle Prayer:

Transliteration: Baruch a-ta Adonoi Elo-hei-nu  me-lech. ha-o-lam.  a-sher  ki-di-sha-nu. bi-mitz-vo-tav. vi-tzi-va-noo. li-had-leek. ner shel Shabbat.

*light candles first then say prayers.  It's typical to cover your eyes as well.

Prayer over children

May God Bless you and guard you. May the light of God shine upon you, and be gracious to you. May the presence of God be with you and give you peace.

*this is usually said while holding your hands on the heads of your children.

Prayer over wine.  Baruch Ata Adonoi Elo-hei-nu me-lech ha-o-lam borei porei hagafen. 

*Any wine, or grape juice, will do.  

Prayer over challah:  Baruch Ata Adonoi Elo-hei-nu me-lech ha olam hamotzi lechem  min ha aretz.  

*It's tradition to put some salt to remember the temple, and honey for a good sweet shabbat.

Here's to a good shabbat, and a restful one for you and everyone.

Things I'm loving

It's an odd day for there to be a few different internet ideas or television items that I'm loving, but right now, I couldn't help but share these two:

1.  This breastfeeding video.  You all know I'm pro breastfeeding, and I'm also totally anti the cover.  It's just not a thing for me.  I'm not embarrassed and I just don't want to create a whole situation where I don't feel comfortable nursing and feeding Ocho, or any other baby I might have.  That's not to say that I'm not happy to go somewhere private if it's convenient for me and her.  Honestly she's a bit distractable when I'm nursing, so a little privacy can really help.

There have been so many moments when I haven't felt comfortable.  Both strangers, and I'm sad to say, members of my own family and social circle have made me feel like nursing isn't okay.  But that's fine, I'm still going to nurse her when she needs it.

I've  enjoyed nursing both of my girls.  There are definitely moments when it's tiresome, or bothersome, but most moments I enjoy the connection.  With Ocho I'm constantly reminded that this time period is so short.  If this was EG I would will only be nursing for a few more months... these are beautiful moments with mother and child, and I hope that the world begins to recognize that.  I'm just a mother, breastfeeding her baby.

2. This commercial about taking vacation.  It's tone is a little negative (I'm not a fan of trying to guilt anyone into doing anything, even taking vacation) but I love that there's a 'movement' to take more time off.  It's true how often we hear that we can't possibly take time off.  There's nothing like a vacation to reconnect the family.  Between time together and no responsibilites even a weekend getaway can reconnect a family.

Here's to embracing our vacation time.  Here's to recognizing that as important as our work is, our legacy in the world is our family.  What will stay with us forever are the families we create and the memories we have with them.  No one knows that better than someone who just lost their mom.  We're about to go on a memorial vacation with my side of the family.  How sad that we couldn't get it together to get together before she died.  That the last family vacation we had was in October of 2014....

Oh well- embrace the moment.  Take the time off!

Throwback Thursday: Camping Part 1

This past Labor Day we took a great risk and went for a great adventure as a family.  We went to our favorite camping spot in Big Sur- Limekiln State Park.  A beach site with a mountain atmosphere, we were  interrupted due to the death of my mom.

However, I thought I would write a bit about the trip, and culminate in some tips and tricks for camping with toddlers and babies.  First, part 1: a general overview of the trip.  Then, Part 2: tips and tricks and things to think about.

First things first-Choosing a camping spot is half the battle.  I recommend that you choose a place you or your friends have been to before.  Nothing is worse than walking into a totally new situation with no idea what's happening.   Things that we think are important- running water and showers, flushing toilets, more than one thing to do in the campground.  Additionally, I don't recommend going more than 5-6 hours from home, and more than 1-2 hours from the nearest town/city with amenities.

Once you get at the campground, you have to set-up.

We are big fans of packing and organizing in large tubs.  They make keeping things bug, bear and critter free much easier.  They also make it easier for larger groups to work together to enjoy camping.

On this trip we had two other families- one with a 2 year old and a baby, another with an almost 3 year old.  We did joint dinners, but decided that everyone would do their own snacks and lunch.  In hindsight, I would have done joint snacks and lunch.  Everyone brought goldfish, pouches, etc.  We had a lot of doubling-up.

The tubs also make it easy to know what's for what meal, and what belongs to each family.

We are also fans of organizing your camping spots together- decide on a community table, a community kitchen and a community fire/fun area.  You go camping not only to get away, but also to enjoy the company of friends.

Camp chairs are totally critical- and thanks to the Goldmans for Ocho's lovely sweatshirt- perfect for the trip!

When setting up camp, I recommend thinking about where the fire/sound will be coming from in realtion to the kiddos.  For us it made the most sense to put the car between the kiddos and the campfire.  The other tents were on the other side of the community table, but not a spot we were likely to be hanging out later at night.

We own a great tent- we had Ocho inside the main tent with us, bundled and sleeping in her car seat.  That worked totally well.  I thought I took some photos of inside the tent, but I guess not.  We had EG sleep in her own little tent outside of the main tent, but under the rain fly.  I realize as I write this that this seems harsh and mean, but the reality is that she needs her own space, and her little KidCo Peapod, does the trick.  She napped in it each day, and then slept in it each night.  It has it's own mattress, and it's a totally great little tent for her.

I don't think I've discussed the crazy drama that took place as we were supposed to be leaving- because if you've seen other pictures of our family, you might remember that we don't have a white car- we have a black Tahoe.  On the day before we're set to leave, Working Dad realizes that there's a problem with his transmission.  Between that and the Tuesday decision to outlaw fires in camp, we had a rough time getting going.

No worries- EG figured out how to get us there....

One of the best things that we did was bring along a bunch of spots for the baby to safely hang out.  Here she is on her bouncer down at the beach.  We had a great time at the beach on Saturday morning- watching dolphins and whales.

It struck me as really tragic that I was having such a good night and a great day when my Dad was discovering my mom.  But I've come to realize that I had to be doing something, and whatever it was I was doing that day will be indelibly preserved in my mind. So it's nice that we were having such a lovely time, because it really was nice.

In this picture you can also see the little sunshade tent that we brought along.  Since this is such a rocky beach we weren't able to let Ocho sleep in there, but it was still a great place for the older ones to get out of the sun for a bit.

One of the best things about this campground is the stream that runs by almost all the campgrounds. It's absolutely wonderful, because it lets you sleep in with the natural white noise it creates.  Additionally it creates an interesting play space for the kiddos down by the beach, where the river meets the ocean.  It's the best of all the possible beach scenarios in my opinion.

The other great thing about this campground is that there is a great hiking trail right in camp.  After spending the morning down at the beach we all walked back to camp, had lunch and let the littles take naps.  Then we geared up to go on the hiking trail to the waterfall.

Some of the other kiddos didn't go in a backpack, but walked the whole trail, so it's definitely doable for a 2-3 year old (if you want to walk really slowly!).  It's a great trail with the water running towards it.  I don't have any pictures of EG there this year, which is so sad because I have this one from her first visit at 1 year old...

Missing you...

So I guess you can tell that I went on vacation.  And here I am, lounging away with my husband and thinking that everything on my site is good and going.  I'd set it up to post for me when I was gone before, so why should this be any different.

well, maybe it's because I accidentally set things to set in April... whoops!

So, I promise I'm still here, and more stuff will be posting soon!  YEAH!

Vacation Review Part 2: Holland America

Wikipedia

When we went on our Carribean cruise this year we went with the Holland America Line, on the ship the MS Noordam.  I thought I would give you a general review while I'm trying to get the rest of the pictures off of Working Dad's camera.

Having sailed with HAL before, I was excited to go on this trip.  We actually cruised the exact same itinerary for our babymoon before EG was born, though on a very different ship.  They have a great kids club program, and though they cater to an older crowd, the ship isn't to large so that you get crazy lost.

The Ship:  The MS Noordam is not the nicest ship I've been on.  In fact, it's definitely beginning to show it's age.  The carpets were a bit worn, the seats a bit overused.  The 'grand' staircase didn't feel very grand at all.  Since we were there over the holidays the trees and gingerbread houses were nice, but that didn't necessarily make-up for the fact that the ship felt old...

Our Room:  We had a verandah room on the 6th floor, which in and of itself was nice.  The bathrooms on the ship all have bathtubs, which I really appreciated.  Though they take up more space than the shower bathrooms (obviously) having a little one with a bathtub was quite nice.  However, our bathtub wouldn't stop-up.  And there were a few cracks in the side that led to water draining out the sides a bit.  The pull out couch in our room was quite beaten, in fact you could see the springs from the inner mattress the whole time we were on board.  We had them remove some of the furniture to accommodate the crib (really a pack n play), and they were gracious enough to do that for us.  However, they would not remove furniture for Aunt K despite her requests.  They had connected staterooms on the 1st floor.  The doors on the floor didn't really close properly, and there was a dreadful high whistle that would penetrate the room and the hallway sometimes... yuck. 

The food:  While overall it was fine, it definitely seems to have taken a step backwards.  The two formal nights had filet and shrimp and lobster thermadore, rather than just lobster tails.  There were at least two nights where none of the food was particularly good.  We ate in the Lido buffet area for most of our lunches and getting a high chair (we needed two!) was almost impossible.  Not to mention finding seating for our group...  Additionally we had two guests who are allergic to milk.  Despite constant questioning, they eventually had severe asthma attacks due to the ships kitchen.  They mistakenly thought that they were lactose intolerant, rather than allergic to milk.  We ordered breakfast for room service every morning, and it was decent.  They finally got the message about sending in Hot milk for EG by about the third day...

The Kids:  We had 6 children on this trip. EG the youngest at 18months, then B at 21 months, J at 3 years, F at 5 years, R at 8 years, and H at 11 years.  All that could go to the HAL kids club absolutely LOVED it.  They had relevant activities (new year's eve resolutions, a talent show, etc.) They begged to go in the daytime, loved going during/after dinner at 7pm.  That was probably the best time, since we took the babies for a walk up to kids club, then the adults had dessert and coffee with only the littles to worry about.  However, despite it being stated on numerous websites they WOULD NOT allow our littlest ones to play in the kids club space at all.  They WOULD NOT loan out any toys to our kids under 3 years.  Thankfully we had kids over 3 who could borrow toys and they can share with the littles, but that was very disappointing.  However, we didn't have any trouble with our youngest, un-potty trained kids going in the pool.  I know, chastise me all you want about what would have happened if there had been an accident.  But there weren't any (though EG did jump in the water without someone there to catch her!).  Overall the staff was kind and pleasant to the kids, and they did a nice job of accommodation them.  In fact, many of the workers had children of their own they left behind, so our kids were just exciting to them.  They did have in-room babysitting, but we were never able to get someone when we asked for someone. They only do same sex babysitting, and having two girls meant it was a bit more difficult (since most cruise ship staff are men).

The entertainment:  We hated the piano man.  Which was so sad, because that was our favorite part of our last trips.  This guy had a kindle or a tablet that held the songs for him, and he often made the songs techno, etc.  Not a fan.  We did love the New Year's eve show (grandpa watched over EG sleeping).  Otherwise we didn't really watch any of it, since it was all to late for EG.  We spent our nights on the verandah while the kiddo slept.

Vacation Part 1:

It's finally here!  The moment when I can talk about our vacation.  As I've mentioned on the blog before, we decided to take a family vacation with Working Dad's side  of the family.  It involved his sister and her family (husband plus 5 kids) and his parents.  We took a cruise out of Ft.Lauderdale and enjoyed a week on a Holland America Ship.

We flew out on a daytime flight leaving at 2:30pm for the east coast.  EG had a good flight, and finally my MIL was able to get her to go to sleep for a quick nap.  By the time we got luggage and everything it was after 11pm to arrive at the hotel.  Getting the crib (they always promise, but it's NEVER there!) was a hassle, but finally EG went to sleep.  In the morning we took a shuttle transfer to the cruise terminal and got aboard the cruise very very easily.  

The ship we sailed on is called the Noordam:

Taken from the beach, with my water camera- hence the spots...

It's one of Holland America's older ships, and believe me it showed.  Not that it wasn't nice, it's just that despite their best intentions, the ship showed it's age.  Our room had a bed, a couch and a few tables.  The couch showed the internal sleeper springs the moment we walked in, despite us never opening it for a bed.  It had worn looking coushins, and I swear there was a crack in our bathtub.

Despite that, it's still a nice ship.  Not all the crazy bells and whistles of the celebrity ships, but two nice pools, good running space, and a lovely atrium.

Our first day was a day on the ship, and we basically spent it sleeping.  We didn't wake up to eat our in-room breakfast until after 10am.  Then we loafed around, and eventually made our way to the pool. 

The best parts of the trip for me were definitely all the time spent in the water.  EG is totally a water baby- she's loved it since she was super tiny and this trip was no exception.  We bought her this lifevest, which is a class V from the coast guard.  It gave us a bit of extra protection, but still allowed her to enjoy moving her arms and swimming.  No, she didn't wear it all the time, and yes there was that one moment when she fell in the pool.


Yup- you read that right.  EG just jumped straight into the pool- totally terrifying, but it worked out okay as I was right there to jump in after her. All of the kids had a great time that day in the pool, then we got ready for our dinner.  I'll have pictures from the dinner, but we bought one of the official cruise ones, and my father-in-law is making copies/prints for everyone...

The next day we landed in Grand Turks and Caicos.  Working Dad had his scuba trip planned, so he took off early early at 7am leaving me and EG to sleep a bit more.  We finally got our act together and departed the ship for the beach around 10am.

The beach here was totally lovely, and just a short walk from the cruise terminal.  The kids had a great time playing the in water with my Sister-In-Law, Brother-In-Law and Mother-In-Law.  Let's just call them Aunt K, Uncle S and Grandma.  Grandpa went with the my oldest niece to take her snorkeling for her first time.

None of my nieces are great swimmers (yes, they are from San Diego, but oh well).  However, the oldest were having a blast no matter what...

Not the best group shot, but it's almost everyone!

EG loves the water!  She floated and swam, and the life vest made us feel very safe.  Though I wish I had thought to get a brighter color for extra safety.  Here she is with her Uncle S, who just adores her.  They had so much fun together throughout the trip.

I have to say that was my other favorite part- watching EG really get to know her cousins.  Saying their names, wanting to be held by them, just totally loving on them...


























Grandma was brilliant and rented this sun shade for our littles.  There's B, and J with EG having a grand time with the buckets and toys.  We had brought a bucket, shovel and rake from home for the sand, and Aunt K bought two sets for her littles, since she forgot to pack hers.  Definitely worth it.  So much entertainment, and one of EG's favorite words is bucket.

These fish were just floating right beside us as we were in the water, and it was great for all the girls to get to see them.  They definitely had a nice extra in seeing those fishes.  By the end of the trip EG could identify fishes from all sorts of places.

Aunt K and her littlest, plus me and EG.  Not to mention the fact that both me and Aunt K are both pregnant with our next littles, due about 10 days apart.  It's so much fun to see these girls grow up together, and I know they had an awesome time on the trip together!

So that's Grand Turk.  We got back on the ship and had a great dinner that night.  We moved to a different table on the 2nd night that suited us a lot better.  And all of the girls started getting into ordering something more interesting than the kids hot dog.  My little EG's favorite words during dinner "My soup..."

More pics and review coming later this week!

Stuck on the East side

Sorry for being a bit MIA around here.  I try so diligently to post to this blog everyday, hoping that whenever you come to visit you see something new and interesting to read and respond to.

However, this last week we were finishing our vacation in the Caribbean.  Yes, I'll tell you all about that, with some cute pictures, but for now, this is just about out final days trying to get out of the cold snap of the east coast.

When we arrived at the airport on Monday morning, all was right with the world.  We believed ourselves heading home, happily getting out our luggage.  Then came the news that we'd be stranded, stranded for somewhere from two to five days...

But, we're finally home.  Next week I'll post all about the trip.  For now, thanks for checking back in, and I'm sorry I was gone...

Flying with a Toddler

The last time we flew with EG she was only 9 months old.  And I have to admit, there were moments that were hellish.  And no, I'm not exaggerating.

We flew out with the grandparents, EG and I on a totally sold Southwest flight.  I had booked EG as a lap child, both because I didn't want to pay the money, and because I thought it would be easier.  Needless to say, it was not.

G-d love both of my parents, and trust me, I certainly do, but on this plane they were not helpful.  Both of my parents are older, larger people.  Both are tall, and due to this both wanted to sit in the asile seat, which I totally understand. On the other hand, I wanted to be on the window seat, thinking that EG could look out, I could use it for support, and I would only have to worry about annoying one person, not two.

So there we are, EG and me at the window.  A perfect stranger in the middle and my mom at the aisle.  Needless to say it was not possible to let EG sit with my mother.  There was no 'passing her back and forth.'  She initially refused to nap.  We've worked very hard to teach her to sleep on her own.  (no, we don't do cry it out, but we do help her stay in her own bed...) All this meant was that sleeping in my arms on the plane was completely out of the question.

Thank G-d for my friends D&C- they had given us an amazing new toy for her birthday- a little elephant full of surprises.  This kept her gleefully entertained.  I also admit that I let her watch her first television on my kindle.  It wasn't possible to get her to sleep any other way- and this totally did the trick.

The flight home was much better with Working Dad will us, but I'm aiming high this flight.  Here's what we've done differently:

1. Buy a Seat on the Plane. This is the single most important difference between the flight out and the flight there.  On the way home, EG could sit all comfy in her carseat.  She sleeps there regularly, so it wasn't a big deal.  I could also just strap her in, and ensure that she wasn't going to get into trouble or hurt anything.  This time around, we are doing the same.  WE're still debating about a new carseat vs her carseat, but either way, we're psyched.


2. Flying with my husband.  Is this essential, no.  But if you aren't going with Dad, I would say to go with someone who reads your child very well.  I definitely expected my parents to be better with her, but the reality is that they don't know her like we do.  We respond before she's even figured out that we need to... They just don't have that.  Working Dad does- and I'm so glad we'll all be together. 


3. Have a designated parent.  This is still key.  There's carry-on's and luggage, and tickets to take care of.  Having one of you designated at all times to be the EG person, in addition to monitoring who has the diaper materials can make all the difference.  For us, it's easiest to have me carry the diaper stuff, but whatever works for you.


4. Strategic New Toys. Lots of people talk about this, and though we haven't tried it yet, I think it's going to help just like it did last time.  We've gotten her a number of new books (flip flap, or touch and feel ones) as well as a 'reusable sticker book' which has rave reviews.  She's very into drawing and writing, so we've gotten her some new triangle crayons (they can't roll away!). 


5. Moderate use of the TV. We don't let EG watch TV yet, but I am pre-loading the kindle with some materials for her to take a look at.  I know it's not good for her, but I also know that there wasn't anything else that would have worked on the last trip.  We have Amazon prime so you can download a few things, then have them for 48hours once you start watching.  We've also gotten her a pair of headphones so she can have some lullaby music if that will help.


6. Snack Food, plus meal food.  I hate that planes don't feed you anything anymore.  It's critical to think in advance about what type of meal you will need to have and whether you need to bring it into the airport yourself.  I advocate for both snacks and a meal, since you never know what the baby will be okay with.  Don't forget about items for you and Dad too!


7. Consider how you are getting through the airport.  It seems strange, but deciding how to travel through the airport is huge.  Soft carriers are very popular, but we don't own one for EG's size.  There's the stroller- always a good option, but only want to bring that if you can use it on the other side.  We are probably going to opt for our large framed Kelty kids carrier.  Typically these can be gate checked just like a stroller, and they seem to make a big impact- leaving you hands free, but still allow the kid space.  No matter what, think about the luggage, the carry on's, the car seat and the restrictions of the airline. 

I'll report back when we return home. I'll also let you know how the cruise went, so here's hoping all the pre-planning does us some good!