These past few months have been some of the hardest of my life. I didn't think that things could get much more difficult after having a newborn and having my Mom die out of the blue. But I was wrong. While all of that was happening at least I had Working Dad at home to cry to and fight with. Now it's just me and the kiddos.
I've talked about this solo parenting thing before, but I just can't believe how hard it is.
For me the hardest part is that I'm not a single parent. I know that seems strange, it's not that I want to be a single parent, but having him flit in and out of our lives like this makes it just so so hard. Now, Working Dad, please don't read/read to much into this, it's not that you are doing something wrong, it's just the way life is.
Which brings me to some of my new heroes. The mamas (and some Daddys) who stay at home while their counterpart is off in the military. Case in point- my wonderful cousin with her hubbie and two kiddos.
She did the whole after birth thing/raising her daughter without Daddy for months after she was born. But she wasn't actually alone. Her wonderful husband has always been a part of their daughter life. Phone calls, e-mails, etc. Breaks and time away to be at home, etc. But while he's a parent (and a damn good one at that) he's not there everyday. Everyday it's mommy and babies and Daddy as a far off figure.
This is what makes it so hard and amazing. That these women are constantly helping their children understand that Daddy loves them, and is doing his job somewhere else. That he's not with them, but that's not what matters. They deal with the emotions of Dad's to short visits, and phone calls. They deal with breakfast and bed time and everything in between. And I am in awe of them.
They are sacrificing for me. For my children. For our family and all the families in America. They are taking on the burden of solo parenting for the sake of our safety. They guide their children through life and battle those difficult moments for the safety of America.
Even when Daddy comes home they are at the whim of something bigger than
them. Transfers and orders and things they just can't pick and choose
about. At least I made this choice all on my own. And I can change it in an instant.
We're doing it for Working Dad's new job. Had I known exactly what I was getting into, I might have chosen differently.
But my cousin- she is truly the hero. Everyday raising her wonderful and gorgeous babies. Thank you to you and your Husband for making us safe in our beds at night. For giving me vision to see that I can do this. That I get to talk to my hubbie each night and that the few times I was in tears and overwhelmed he just got in his car and showed up on my doorstep an hour later. She didn't have that option. She, and they, are amazing.