Return To Work

This morning I dragged myself out of bed at 6am to get ready for my return to work.  And now that my day is over, I think I might be finally ready to talk about it.

The strangest thing about going into work this morning wasn't getting up at 6am.  And it wasn't fighting traffic to get home.  Rather, it was heading into work feeling like I was wearing a big huge sign that said "I'm unreliable."

Now, don't get me wrong, I know I had legitimate reasons to be out of the office.  I know my doctor recommended that I take the time off, it was a good thing for me to do, and I don't regret it.  However, coming back in and not being able to say definitely that I'm better, or that I won't be needing to leave again without much notice is really really hard.

I've always prided myself on being someone who solves problems.  With a background in theatre and stage management, you're the first to show up and the last to go home.  Thinking that in the past few weeks with Jury Duty, then FMLA leave that no one has any idea when I'll be at my desk just kills me.

That's not to say that my supervisor is upset with me, or not supportive.  It's just so hard when you feel like you are trying to do it all, and do it well, and then have to shuffle your responsibilities onto someone else.

Especially since I've only been on this job for 6 months or so.

However, there were nice perks to being at the office today.  I took a nice lunch where I actually ate a decent amount of lunch food that was appropriate for the day.

I didn't clean up anyone's poop or pee.

I had a few minutes of me time walking to and from the office, and I even did a bit of reading on my way to lunch.

Have you returned to work after an absence?  How did you handle being back in the hot seat?