Thursday, August 7, 2014

From Working Mom to Stay at Home Mom

Connecticut Working Moms
There is an interesting thing that happens to you when you have a baby.  For a few weeks before the baby comes, through a few weeks or months after the baby comes everything changes.  As a working mom I've suddenly been cast in a new role- Stay at Home Mom.

I'm not trying to jump into the mommy wars, only highlighting the difficult experience that is these first few months of parenthood for Working Moms. 

When I had EG I tried to follow the advice of all of my mother friends and join a group of moms.  Only to find out that most groups for moms are for Stay-at-home-moms.  Not a problem for the first few months, but then I went back to work, and they didn't.  Occasionally they had mom's night out, which was great.  I stayed connected to a few of those mother's, but the reality is that it was really hard.  Our kids don't really play with each other and most  (if not all) of my mommy friends are from EG's daycare.

So I face the same transition/problem with Ocho.  I don't want to sit around in my house all day- I'd love to go back to Mommy & Me yoga, or try a class at Gymboree.  This time I'm thinking much more seriously about really doing the stroller strides class.  However, it's still the exact same boat.  Putting effort into events and people that most likely won't make any dent in my actual social life.  And unfortunately lots of those women whom I met last time were judgmental of me, judgmental of our choices, and couldn't have imagined being friends with a working Mom.

Don't get me started on the activities- you try finding an infant swim class that meets after 5:30pm, and let's not even discuss how difficult that would make dinner and bed time.  The world is set-up for a Stay-at-home-mom, at least in terms of baby recreation.

It's so hard to think that in just a few months all this 'free time' and bonding will be over and done with.  As it is it's already moving way way to fast.  She's half-way to a month old, and I haven't done anything with her!

I'm very thankful for my mommy friends from school, but at the same time I wonder what I'll do about making new ones.  I don't want Ocho to be the odd girl out with all of EG's friends...

So here's to diving in.  Here's to hoping that just like with EG I might find one or two or three new friends who I can bond with.  The cool girl at yoga- the couple walking the path at the same time of night as us- the fabulous stay-at-home-mom who invites me to things even though she knows it's unlikely that I'll be there.

Here's to putting yourself out there and hoping something sticks.  Wish me luck...


  1. Have you tried Meetup? The group I'm in tries to plan activities day/night/weekends to accommodate any schedule. I've also seen working mom groups.

    1. Yes, I'm on Meet-up. With EG I found a great group, which I still have a few friends from. I'll have to look into it again. Your group sounds fantastic!

  2. The American Association of University Women has many chapters in your area, and some of their activities are for young moms...both stay-at-home and working outside the home moms. Check them out!

    1. Wow- I've never heard of that group. They have a chapter in the beach cities, definitely something for me to look into!


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