Happy Birthday to me!

That's right, it's my birthday.  Yup- my first birthday without my mom.  I can't believe that it's happened like this, especially since a few weeks ago I was harassing her about trying to go out of town for my birthday.  It's a big one for me, and no, I'm not going to tell you which one.

Suffice it to say, I'm a wee bit emotional about it all.  I suspect that my whole family will be emotional for our birthday's this year.  Mine seems especially hard since her death is still so fresh and painful to me.

I don't even want to think about what I'm going to do about Ocho's first birthday, or my nephew's first birthday.  Just typing that makes tears well into my eyes.

Birthdays have always been a great thing in our house- we always celebrated, no matter how old we were.  It's funny, because a lot of the families I knew, and know now, don't really celebrate. They do something small with the family, or they only invite the friends of their kiddos.  I believe that if you want people to remember your birthday, you have to tell them to.  So I've been talking about this since July....

My mom always celebrated our birthdays.  For me it was an October pool party, usually with pumpkin painting and cupcake decorating.  She was a huge fan of cupcake decorating- easy dessert and entertainment all rolled into one.  These hot October weekends made a pool party perfect.

Looking through the old pictures I've found some from my surprise party- it must have been my 16th birthday?  My sister was already at college, but came home to celebrate with me. I'm sure I'll find more birthday party pics as I keep looking.

Working Dad's family isn't so much into birthday parties- his mom keeps telling me that I should invite the number of people as the kids are old.  which is a great idea, but I love to celebrate. Any reason to get together is a good one.

It's funny, my mom used to send us cards without signing them.  She would buy us a card, then tell us to pick out our own present. 80% of the time as an adult I would buy the thing I wanted, and she would pay me back for it. Or my dad would go and get something.  Forget about wrapping paper- a total waste.  She gave me a birthday present for Susie, and I remember her telling me that she got a bag specifically for me...

Oh well, Happy Birthday.  I have a lot to be blessed about, let's just hope I can remember that as I celebrate without her.

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