Book Review: French Twist

 

French Twist: An American Mom's Experiment in Parisian Parenting

Have you been following the French parenting revolution?  While it's true that it really hit it's stride back in 2010 I think all new moms have found there way to it one way or another.

The 'famous book' is Bringing up Bebe, by Pamela Zuckerman.  I've read it.  It's okay.  The other good one is "French Kids Eat Everything."  I've read that one too.  But honestly, this one is my favorite.  However, if you want to try to follow some french parenting philosophies, "French Twist" is really the book for you.

This is an American mom living in America trying to take a few French philosophies and put them to good use in her own family.

Things I loved:

1.  I am the Chief of the Family.  If not me, then at least my husband.  Or the adult I leave in control.  This seems like such common sense, but so often it is easier to let your kid have their way, especially when it comes to meltdowns in public places.  We want our kids to be good debaters.  We want our kids to share their opinions, but then we forget that kids don't know enough to be in control.  They don't know what's best for them.  If we take control, we'll get better results and less meltdowns.  This includes sticking to your guns and following through.


2. Be your own person.  I think this is an incredibly important idea.  In this age of helicopter parenting it's even more important.  It's hard to remember that you can have your own time, your own hobbies and your own accomplishments.  It's like a never ending spiral.  I raise my children, therefore my children are a reflection on me.  Therefore their successes are my successes.  Sure... but then you cross the line and become a Dance Mom.  We have to remember that it's my child who didn't get invited to the party, not me.  She talks a lot about taking time as parents, and expecting the kids to respect that time. 


3. Don't praise for expected behavior.  Her two children are used to getting praised.  As well as being given toys for behaving well.  The French don't do that, so she stopped doing it too.  In Nurtureshock we learned all about the negatives of praise, but she talks about how we need to keep our expectations normal, and not praise our kids for doing what's expected.


4. If there's no blood, don't get up.  This one is my favorite!  We are all concerned for our kids safety, and most of us know that our children wait until we respond to try to decide what they should do, but she takes it even further. Allow our children to fight themselves, fall themselves, and generally manage life as much as possible. This ties into the French idea that we should have limits (really strong, do not cross limits!) for a few things.  Everything else we should relax about.

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